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14:Tf4f,親御さんにお伝えください。もし、29to077さん本人の言葉では信頼してもらえないなら、東大に合格した人間である僕の言葉としてお伝えください。

大学受験は、中学受験や高校受験とは全く性質が異なります。

中学受験、高校受験は多くの場合、親子二人三脚で歩むものです。志望校も、大抵のケースでは親が提案して、子供が受動的に決めますね。
しかし、大学受験で親にできるのは、食事などの体調面でのサポート、学費などの金銭面でのサポート、そしてその他の全ての受験に関することを一切子供に委ね、任せる姿勢をとることのみです。
委ね、任せる、とは放任、つまり放っておくこととは違います。そうではなく、ただ子供の狭い視野に入っていないであろう他の選択肢を示し、自分自身がそれらについてどう感じているかについて子供に意見を述べて、そして後の判断は全て他人のする他人のこととして一任するということです。
勉強しろ、と言われながら勉強していた、または勉強している人間に、僕はこの大学で会ったことがありません。最初のきっかけはそういうこともあったのかもしれませんが、少なくとも高2にもなれば、親がどうこう言わずともやる人はやりますし、やらない人は何を言ってもやりません。そして、干渉すればするほど子供は親のために勉強するようになります。親の前でしか勉強しない子供と、親のいないところでしか勉強しない子供、どちらが健全かは明らかです。

反抗期とは、親の干渉が過多の時に起こるものです。

また、子供にとって干渉だと感じられるようなことが多くなっているにもかかわらず、本気でお子さんが意見を伝えてきている時に、それを信頼せず真摯に耳を傾けないなら、それはもはや抑圧であり、家族という関係が、子供にとって足枷になり得ます。
一旦、単純に同居している他人として、対等に向き合おうとする姿勢を持つべきであると、僕は思います。

その存在を肯定してあげること、君は生きてていいんだよと伝えることが愛だと僕は考えています。どうか自らの理想を子供に負わせるのではなく、ただ見守るということをしてあげてほしいと思います。



29to077さん本人にも伝えておきたいことがあります。

色々ツッコミどころの多い親御さんですが、それでも、どんな形であれ親が心配してくれるのは、大変ありがたいことです。また、もし遅くに帰宅した後に夜食等を作ってもらったりしているなら、それにも感謝の念を伝えなければなりません。
東大を目指され、今猛烈に勉強されているくらいなのですから、必ず、親御さんはあなたのことを愛しているはずです。ただその表現をどうするか、いまいちよくわかっていらっしゃらないだけだと思います。

どうか、僕の意見も携えて、一度本気で、じっくりと親と話し合う時間を作ってみてください。やはりこれについては、あなたにも説明責任ってやつが、生じていないこともありません。
それさえ断られたら、仕方がない、東大に受かるから口出しするなという宣言でもするしかないですかね。。。


高2でその勉強量なら、確実に合格に近づいていけるはずです。ぜひ周りの大人たちにも相談などもしてみつつ、障害を無くしていってください。15:Tf23,将来の夢がしっかりと決まっていて、凄いですね。
大学生でもここまで進路が決まっている人はいませんよ！

自分なんかが回答していいような内容なのか分かりませんが、一意見として書かせて頂きます。
(詳しい内情を知らないので、色々勘違いがあったらすみません)


まず相手が何を考えているのか、お互いが理解し合っていないように感じました。
憶測ではありますが、お父さんが考えているであろうことを書いていきますね。


【上京について】
これは多かれ少なかれ反対しますよね。
愛する娘が自分の元を離れるわけですから。
子どもからしたら、
「夢」を応援するのが親の役目でしょ！
と思うかもしれませんが、心配するが親の性なのでなかなか難しいですよね。


【公務員について】
お父さんは今まで苦労されてきたのではないですか？
その苦労を愛する娘に味わって欲しくないのではないでしょうか？
社会に出てみて、
「やっぱり公務員が正解だ」
と感じたからこういう事を言うのでしょう。
お父さんの伝え方は不器用かもしれませんが、意地悪を言っているわけではなく、娘を想っての助言なのでしょう。


【志望校について】
これも同様です。
受験に失敗して、苦労して欲しくないのでしょう。
A判定を出していれば、反対することもないでしょうが、E判定なら反対してもおかしくはないです。

「頑張ろうとしてるんだから応援してよ！」

と思うのですが、
「そんなに立派にならなくてもいいから、外部からの火の粉を排除したい」
と考えるのが親心だと思います。
もちろん現実味があれば、応援したくない訳ではないと思います。



【最後に】
まだ親の保護下にあるわけですから、説得は避けて通れないと思います。
やろうと思えば、奨学金で大学に通って、下宿代もバイトで何とかすればいけなくもないですが、めちゃくちゃ厳しいです。

それは最終手段として、自分がどこまで深く考えていて、どれだけの覚悟と計画性があるのかをしっかりと伝えるのがいいと思います。


まずはお母さんを味方につけます。(ここ重要)

そして説得できるかは分かりませんが、
①自分の将来の夢。その動機と理由
②その手段としての就職先。他の就職先ではなぜダメなのか。
③その手段としての大学。他の大学ではなぜダメなのか。
④その大学に入るために自分は具体的にどういう努力をするつもりなのか。

を論理立てて紙に書き、話してみては如何でしょう？
(口頭だけでは、論理立てて伝えるのは難しい)

考えが甘い！と言われるかもしれませんが、
本気度が分かれば、相談にも乗ってくれるかもしれませんよ。
親は
「子どもはいつまでも子ども」
だと思っていて、自分の子がどこまで考えているのか分からないものですから。


説得が難航するようなら
「秋の模試でA判定を取れたら考えてほしい」
と猶予を設けて、その間に本気度を見せつけるというセコい手もあります。(通用するかは分かりませんが)


昔気質な頑固な方かもしれませんが、
キチンと自分の本気度と計画性が伝われば、気持ちが動くかもしれません。
難航するとは思いますが、お母さんの助太刀も利用しつつ頑張ってみて下さい。


応援してますよ！
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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"浪人生と親との付き合い方について"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして！自分も浪人をしていました。\n浪人、辛いですよね。よくわかります。\nたぶんお母様は浪人生って常に勉強してるもんだ！みたいなイメージがあるのかもしれませんね…心配なのもあるのでしょう。\n自分の親もそうでした。\nなんというか、小言は聞き流すに限ります笑\n親御さんが煩くいうのはもはや仕方ないです、なので、ストレスをうまく解消する方向にいきましょう！\n自分は精神的に辛い時、よく夜風に当たってボケーっとしてました。(だいぶ痛いですが笑\nたまに好きな音楽を爆音で聴きながら散歩！とか週一、月一くらいで頑張れた自分にご褒美！とか…\nとにかく、自分があまり気兼ねしない範囲でストレスをうまく解消しましょう。\n\n\n最後に、浪人生というのは、悔しいですが、一度落ちたというレッテルが貼られています。それのせいでどんなに良い成績を持っていっても、合格じゃなけりゃ意味がないのです。\nだからこそ、うかったときはこれまでの腹いせと言わんばかりに見せつけてやりましょう！『だから言ったでしょ！』って感じで！笑\n頑張ってくださいね。\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"親不孝者な自分"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"読んでいてすごく胸がしめつけられたよ、、、\n\n私も同じ経験をしたからね\n10年もやっていた習い事を高校時代にグレて突然やめてちゃって親が悲しませちゃってね、、、なんとしても勉強だけは成功させたいと思ってたんだ😶\n\n\nまずは受験お疲れ様ね！\n\n人間関係に悩んで部活やめちゃったんだね。人間関係で苦しんでいるのに子どもに部活を強いる親はいないと思うから。部活をやめたことに悲しさは感じても、息子の選択を親は尊重してるだろうし責める気もないと思うよ。\n\n中央受けたんだね。良い大学よね。\n合格発表はまだ出てないのかな？\nわたしだって、周りの子の見た目が賢そうな上に綺麗で、試験受ける前からなんだか負けた気になっていたけれど、バッチリ受かっていたし。みんな同じように弱気になるもの。\n\nでも、受験生に勝てる気がしない、と感じたところが当日の雰囲気ではなく、例えば周りの受験生たちの話を聞いて圧倒的に自分は勉強時間が足りないとか、手をつけるはずだったところを放置しちゃっていた、、など、自分の努力不足に原因を感じているなら、話はちょっと別かな。\n\n叱ってほしいということは、叱られるに値するような、、努力不足が思い当たるということなのかな？\n\nといっても、今あれこれいってももう受験は終わっているから、とりあえず結果を待とうか。\nだめならもう1年やればいいし。(浪人はよくいる)\n\n何事も、振り返るのが大切だと思うよ。なにが原因でどんな結果を招いたのか、それがわからないまま叱っても無駄な時間とメンタルくらうだけだしね。\n\nでも心の中にご両親を思って勉強を頑張ってきたこと、きっとご両親は気づいてるはずだから。\n息子が自分をずっと責めていたら親としてはおそらくもっとつらいかも。。\n\nひとまず、結果を待ち、ご両親とこれからの進路についてなどざっくばらんにおしゃべりしたりして、寝る前に今までの反省なんかしたりして、よくねむること！\n\nもしなにか個別に聞きたいこととか、逆に聞いてほしいことなどあれば言ってね笑\n\nこんな良い子の息子をもって、質問者さんのご両親は幸せだな〜😸\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"コロナ自粛で家庭崩壊"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"なかなか大変ですね。ストレスの発散ができず、勉強も思うように捗らないのは精神的にかなりきついですね。\n僕の家は僕が中3の時に母が亡くなり父子家庭で、父親は中卒、受験なんて一体なんだという状態でした。高校時代の3年間は母が亡くなったショックで家族全員がバラバラで、ずっと精神的にきつい状況でした。\nこんな状況ではありましたが最終的に国立大学の医学部に合格できたので、僕はうまくそういう状況をクリアできたのだと自負しています。\n1番大事なのは「マイペースになること」じゃないかなと思います。めんどくさいこととは関わらず、巻き込まれたら受け流し、ひたすら机にしがみつく。家庭環境が辛いのはわかりますし、なんとかしようという心を持つのはとても良いことだと思います。そんなの難しいよ、って思うかもしれませんが、合格すれば全てが吹き飛びます。全部解決します。僕自身医学部に受かったことで家族の中は落ち着き、今では新しく落ち着いた日々を過ごせています。\nあなたが思っている数倍受験はしんどいものです。ですが、その先に必ず素敵なゴールが待っています。マイペースにやればいいと思います。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"うるさいんです"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして\n\nただでさえ精神的にめちゃくちゃ追い込まれる受験で、家族が応援してくれないのは大変ですよね…。\nこれは理想的すぎる展開かもですが、一度親としっかり話し合う時間を設けてもいいかもしれません。それで一日潰れたとしても、小言や嫌味が言われなくなるだけでそれ以降の日々の質は変わるのではないでしょうか。たとえ何かの事情で応援できない訳があったとしても、yukiさんの挑戦を邪魔していい理由にはならないはずです。\n大学は人生が変わります。受験は人生を変えるための選択です。資質、環境、背景全てが排除されて試験の点数一発で結果が決まります。僕自身それまで何も無い人生でしたが、京大に受かって人生が変わりました。yukiさんも似たような覚悟があるのだと思います。それをぶつけてみてはどうでしょうか。たとえ無理だったとしても、それまでの努力は無駄にはなりません。たとえ京大が無理だったとしても積み重ねで今だとまだ手の届かない大学に受かるかもしれません。浪人して再挑戦という選択肢もあります。そう考えると京大は絶対に無理なんて決めつけるのは時期尚早です。なにより士気を削ぐことは志望校以前に何もプラスにならないです。\nかなり時代錯誤ではありますが、お父さんの中で「女の子は地元から出してはいけない」「女の子で浪人はありえない」みたいな考えがあるのかもしれません。確かに適齢期の話をすると男性よりシビアな部分は人によってはあるのかもしれません(浪人した女性の知人たちも気にしている人は一定いました)。yukiさんなりに答えを出してそれをぶつけてみてもいいかもしれません。結果折り合いがつかなくとも、「何考えてるかわからん攻撃的な人」から「価値観が違う人」に変わるだけで付き合い方が考えられます。\n\nyukiさんのことをよく知らない立場で踏み込んだことを言ってしまったかも知れません。もし気分を害したなら申し訳ないです。\nでも現状が確実なマイナスなら、プラスにならないまでもゼロにするためのアクションはすべきだと思います。そういう経験は受験に限らずいつか役に立つと思います。\nたとえ家族は応援してくれなくとも、ここにいる人はyukiさんの受験を応援していますし、僕自身yukiさんには満足のいく結果で新学期を迎えて欲しいと思っています。遠慮せず色々ぶちまけてください笑。\n色々大変だとは思いますが、勉強頑張ってください！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"スマホに勝ちたい"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"その方法でいいと思います。\n自分もスマホに左右されて苦しんでいました。\n自己抑制をしようと思っても、なかなかできるものではありません。\nそうなれば、他人の力を借りるのが1番です。\nすなわち、親に預けるというものです。\n自分も部活や学祭が終わったあとの受験期間\nスマホを親に預けていました。\n最初はきついと思いましたが、慣れればそうきつくはありません。ゲームやテレビ、パソコンはある程度、自己抑制が効いたり、計画的に娯楽を挟むことができますが、スマホはその手軽さ故、気付いたら使っていたということが多々あります。\n厳しいことを言うかもしれませんが、二台持ちをしたところで、その2台目で、また娯楽に行き着いてしまう可能性があります。\n自分の例ですが、必要最低限のアプリしか入れていなかったはずですが、LINEからYouTubeに飛べてしまう方法を見つけてしまい、結局YouTubeを見てしまうと言うことがありました。ですから、一度二台持ちを検討してみて、厳しかったり、実践してもまた似たようなことになるのであれば、そもそもスマホを持たないと言うことを実践してみてください。\nあなたが弱いのではなく、みんな抱える問題です。\nぜひ、自分に打ち勝ってください！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary 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