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1c:Tbfc,結論、付き合わない方がいいと思う！

でも、そのまま恋愛は続けて良いと思う。

どっちだよ笑って感じだけれど、要は今の感じのままにして付き合うのは合格後の方がいいと思うってこと。

この時期付き合うとね多分、不安感情増幅するだけだと思うんだよね。いらんことで心配したり、相手にされてないと悲しくなったり、成績低迷したとき八つ当たりしてしまったり。受験中も円満にやってるカップルは回答者の周りはいなかったな。

最初はうまくやるんだけれど、徐々に崩れていく感じ。

なので、最初の、お互い力合わせて頑張ろ！くらいのそこまで干渉しない、付き合う前の時期のほうが良いモチベーションを保てると思う。

ちなみに回答者は、高３では絶対に彼氏作らないと決めていたので作らなかったけれど(いや作れなかった?w)、良い恋愛はしてた😏

ちょっとそのときのことしゃべっていいですか。笑


塾のひとで、苗字順で席が前のひとだったんだけれど。最初はお互い全く関心がなかったが、ある日何気ない会話で、お互い好きなおでんの具が昆布ということで仲良くなった。
成績も同じくらいで、模試のあとは必ず成績を見せ合う仲に。彼にバカにされないように、差が開かないように、勉強も頑張れた。
家ではお互い勉強できない派だったので毎日塾の自習室通い&閉館まで一緒に勉強した。閉館のときは、自習室が真っ暗になるので2人で肝試し?をしたり。青春をした。
しかし受験が近づくにつれ、個別授業などが増え、会う機会が減っていった。
センター後、私大入試直前、久しぶりに彼と会った。すると彼は、次はいつ会えるかわからないから、、と、学ランのボタンを私にくれた(鼻血)。私はそのボタンを筆箱の中に入れ受験に挑んだ。強くなれた気がした...
回答者は結果合格。彼は国立志望だったのでまだ受験が残っていたが、お祝いしてくれた。初めて彼の自転車で2人乗りして町を回ったりした。だいぶうかれていた。
でも実は彼はセンターがあまりうまくいっていなかったようで。第一志望ではなく、地方の国立へ行くことが決まった。
回答者も進学の準備やら進学してからもドタバタ忙しく、彼に会えたのは結局それが最後であった、、、、、
彼とは結局友達以上恋人未満だったけれど、彼と頑張れたから合格できたのかも知れない。。なんて思っている。。。涙


、、、、何が言いたかったのか忘れたけれどとりあえず
・まだ付き合うな
・付き合う前の良好な関係が良好なモチベーションとなる

いかがでしょう。
1d:T17a7,はじめまして！

理系チックな返答をします笑。初めに言っておきますが、かなり無機質です。感情論的なアドバイスはお互いをよく知る友人等に貰って貰って、私からはあえて客観的で徹底した合理主義的なアドバイスをさせていただきます。色々な角度からのアドバイスを踏まえて判断してもらえればと思います。それらを理解した上で以下読んでいただければ幸いです。

まずもえさん側は現状の関係性で十分満足していて、それが今崩れようとしている。お相手はさらなる関係性を望み、もえさんも満更ではなさそう(文面から判断しました)。
結論から言うと、崩れた結果もえさん側に利があるなら恋愛に発展させればいいと思います。具体的にはもえさんのモチベが上がるみたいなメリットがある、あるいはもえさん自体に特にデメリットはないがお相手にメリットがあるなどありましたら。一方もえさん側にメリットがないどころかむしろデメリットがあるなら今は受験に専念した方がいいですね。例えば息抜きと称してめちゃくちゃデート誘われるとか今は勉強の話をしている時間にめちゃくちゃ惚気だすとか、お相手がもえさんが今求めていること以上のことを求めてくる時ですね。受験というのは今後の人生を変えます。そんな重要な時期に、本人が望まないのに相手に合わして自分の勉強ができないのは勿体なさすぎます。

これは同性として勝手に妄想する事なのですが、現状それなりに近しい関係性でいるのにも関わらずさらに欲するとなれば、あまりもえさんに都合のいい展開には転がらない気がします。もえさんが求めるような関係性ならば恋愛に発展させる必要はないですからね。
ただ精神的な安定が欲しいだけという可能性もありますが、お相手のことが分からないので判断しきれないところですが。。。

少し話が逸れましたが、肝心の恋愛と勉強が両立できるかですが、結局受験というのは必要な知識を入れ必要な技術を身につける必要があります。そのために必要な時間を確保できるかどうかが合否を分けます。自分の持つ時間からその時間を引いて残った時間に収まる恋愛ができるかが返答になります。要するに人によります。
厄介なのが、恋愛というのは相手がいます。相手の恋愛観が自分の(主に時間的な)枠に収まるか、それだけでも大変なのにさらに自分の恋愛観が相手の恋愛観の枠に収まるか。これらを同時に満たす必要があります。恋愛がとる比重が大きいともちろん枠には収まりませんし、小さいからと言ってあまりにも小さいとじゃあ恋愛に発展させなくて良くない？となります(つまりあんまり現実的では無い)。
もえさんに限った話をすると、お相手と恋愛するにあたって今もえさんが得ている刺激だったりモチベを得続けられるかつ今の勉強の比重と競合しないかがまず問題です。それが満たされた上で、じゃあ次はお相手がそれで満足するかですね。こればっかりはもえさんにも我々部外者にも分からないので本人に聞くしかないです。
1つ提案としては、そこら辺を伝えた上で本人に決めさせればいいと思います。「私はこれは譲れないしこういうことは今したくない」というのを伝えてそれで納得できるならば恋愛に発展させれば良い。まあ正直恋愛の駆け引きは度外視しているので、そんなことするぐらいなら恋愛なんかしない！と思われても当然です笑。

ただこれまで話したのは、私の価値観や経験に基づく一つの考えなので、必ずしも合っているとは限らないし、何よりもえさんは従う必要も無いです。恋愛とか受験とかはあくまでもえさんの人生なので、最終自分の望むままにすればいいと思います。理屈ではこうなんだけど、本能的には真逆！みたいなことも当然あります。どちらを採るかは我々他人には決めれません。そしてそうした結果の責任も我々他人には負うことは出来ません。それさえ分かった上で判断すれば良いと思います。
そして何より、自分が後悔しないこと！ いくら受験の結果が悪くても自分が納得できていればそれでいいと思います。極論受験はいつでもできますが、その時出会った人との恋愛はその時限りです。他人と生まれるものである以上自分自身の都合だけではどうにもならないので。受験も恋愛も自分一人ではなんとも出来ない領域がある以上、結果自分が納得できるかが重要だと思っています。片方をとってもう片方に後悔が残るなら少し決断が早かったことになります。逆に何をしてと後悔するとなると逆に後悔はしないと思います(あの時はそうせざるを得なかったから仕方がないと割りきれるはず)。

以上、超理系的な返答でした笑。
感情論は極力排除しているので、もしかすると「何言ってんだこいつ」「何も分かってない」となるかもしれません。そういう時は全然無視してください。
もし万が一にももっと聞きたいことがあるという奇跡があるならばコメントください。できる範囲内で助力したいと思います。
再三言いますが、後悔だけはしない選択を！2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"恋愛について"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",18,") コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"6/19 3:02"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"UniLink利用者の80%以上は、難関大学を志望する受験生です。これまでのデータから、偏差値の高いユーザーほど毎日UniLinkアプリを起動することが分かっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L13",null,{"clientImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_RLloQhWVdqZ72G9eUAxlm4vdsko1.jpg?alt=media&token=3a0c762a-56f2-439b-9f7c-135279109fde","clientUserName":"ゆう","infoString":"高3 静岡県 名古屋大学教育学部(63)志望","adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap","children":[["$","div","consultation-part-0",{"children":[null,"聞いていいのかはわかりませんが受験期に恋愛って危険でしょうか自分は名古屋大の現役をめざしています"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L14",null,{}]}],null]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L15",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_ItPfEyi0rdUQWzb3VTvKLK6wvYr2.jpg?alt=media&token=3f1decbe-f5cf-4c3c-ae80-3a156fb49275","adviserName":"こう","adviserDepartment":"東北大学経済学部","adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"すべての回答者は、学生証などを使用してUniLinkによって審査された東大・京大・慶應・早稲田・一橋・東工大・旧帝大のいずれかに所属する現役難関大生です。加えて、実際の回答をUniLinkが確認して一定の水準をクリアした合格者だけが登録できる仕組みとなっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"こんにちは。\n適度に恋愛するのはもちろん大丈夫だとは思いますが、受験のストレスの吐口を恋人以外に持った方がいいでしょう。\n\nあと、受験生カップルのどちらかが不合格になってしまった場合は本当に悲惨なので、絶対に現役で合格してください 。質問者さんは男なので尚更です。彼女だけが進学した場合150%大学で先輩にお持ち帰りされます。知り合いがそれでうつ病になってました。実話です\n\nまた、受験終わるまで告白はしない！みたいなチキり方をしてるといつのまにか好きな子に彼氏ができてた、みたいなことになるのでチキらないでなんかしらのタイミングで告白しましょう  フラれたらそのエネルギーを受験にぶつけてください\n\n旧帝志望ということで熱くなってしまいました。笑\n勉強頑張ってください"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_ItPfEyi0rdUQWzb3VTvKLK6wvYr2.jpg?alt=media&token=3f1decbe-f5cf-4c3c-ae80-3a156fb49275","adviserName":"こう","adviserDepartment":"東北大学経済学部","adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR","numberOfFan":22,"clipsAvg":3.8461538461538463,"adviceRateAvg":4.586206896551724,"profile":"現役時 東京電機大学後期合格→東北大経済\n\n仮面浪人/宅浪/文転/大学体育会/塾講アルバイト\n\n"}]}],["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink パンフレットバナー画像","className":"mt-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L17",null,{"id":"adsbygoogle-init-under-advice"}]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":["コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","$L18",null,{"adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mr-2","children":["$","$L19",null,{"avatarUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_RLloQhWVdqZ72G9eUAxlm4vdsko1.jpg?alt=media&token=3a0c762a-56f2-439b-9f7c-135279109fde","contributorName":"ゆう","adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-2","children":["$","$L1a",null,{"contributorName":"ゆう","adviceId":"p1LpeYEBTqPwDZPuhZBR"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption","children":"6/19 3:04"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs whitespace-pre-wrap","children":"ほんとにありがとうございます(実は好きな人にできてしまったので少し嫉妬心もあり聞いてしまいました"}]]}]]}]]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":"よく一緒に読まれている人気の回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"/advice/SwMX5GkBTqPwDZPuyLQo","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"集中できない、、"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。\nいかにも青春といった感じでうらやましいです。\n\n受験期の恋愛には障壁が多いですが、人を好きになる気持ちを止めることはできませんよね😰この状態で好きな気持ちを抑えて勉強なんて絶対できませんよね。悶々としたまま本番に入ってしまうのは避けたいですよね。\n\n思い切って気持ちを伝えてしまうのがいいと思いますよ。\nただ、その際あなたが挙げられていた不安も伝えてあげてください。恋愛のせいで自分と相手の受験に悪い影響が出てしまうのではないか不安だと。相手があなたの想いに応えてくれるなら、きっと一緒に真剣に考えてくれます。\n彼が受験を理由に告白を断ることは明確、と言われていましたが、そうとも限らんと僕は思いますよ。僕は男ですが、受験勉強は基本的に独学だったので心細い時もありました…やはり1人で勉強だけするのはしんどい。そんな時に自分をいつも支えて、そして一緒に頑張ってくれる人がいてくれたらそれはもう嬉しいものです。しかもそれが恋する人だといったら、なんと素敵なことでしょうか。というわけで、もし自分がお相手なら快諾します。（もちろんデート等はできるだけ我慢してくださいね。まあ予備校デートとか模試デートとか素敵そうですけど）あとはあなたの想いにお相手がどれだけ応えてくれるかの問題です。気持ちを伝えるのはあなたの仕事、選ぶのは相手の仕事、振られてしまったら、潔く諦めて勉学に集中しましょう。\n案外立ち直れるものです。（しばらくは落ち込みますが）\n\n最後に…苦しくて泣きそうなほど人を好きになれるということは本当に素敵で、羨ましいと思います。そんな想いを受験のせいで相手に届けることができない…なんて悲しいというか、なんだか虚しすぎるとは思いませんか？僕個人の意見として、受験とか関係なくその想いは絶対に相手に伝えるべきだと思いますよ。これから1年間悩みは多いと思いますが、あなたに恋愛と受験、2つの春が訪れることを願っています。\n\n人の恋愛事情もよくわからない、いち大学生の身分で失礼しました。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"受験生は恋愛など捨てるべきなのか"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"✅私の個人的な意見\n\n→私は恋愛は受験にはいらない派でした。受験は自分との戦いと言われていますが前提として周りの条件が支障にない程というものだと思います。恋愛＝支障と決めつけるのは良くないことだと思います。実際恋人がいながら受験に受かっている友人を私は何人も知っていますし全然ありだと思います。しかし私は恋人がいない状態ならわざわざ受験期に作る必要がないと思いますし、なにかと恋人の存在を支障と感じるタイミングがあるなら距離をとって付き合うというのでもいいと思います。\n\nあくまでゴールは受験合格です。\n\nそのために最も最適なルートを選ぶべきなのかなって思います。恋人の存在が最適かどうかに関しては人それぞれです、ほんとに。自分の性格との照らし合わせですかね。少なくともわたしは必要ない派でした笑"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 6-2m0-12C9.79 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"カップルの関係性"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"もう解決されているのであれば無視して構いません。\nまず、余計なことでは全くないですよ！\n僕もりょうさんと同じような関係で受験期を過ごしていました。僕が一橋志望で彼女が東京外国語大学志望、関係性は中学の頃から一緒で高1から付き合っていました。おっしゃる通り男子の集中力は確かにすごいと思います(僕も追い上げ型でした)。\n\n重要なのはりょうさんが不安に思う気持ちが受験においてマイナスの効果をもたらしてはよくないということです。\nですので、りょうさんが伝えたいのなら伝えるべきだと思います。\n彼も追い込みをかけて周りをシャットアウトしているのだと思いますが、ふとした瞬間に弱くなってしまう時が来ます。これはどんなに屈強な男子でも間違いなく訪れます。そのときに一緒に頑張れると思える彼女がいることはとても心強いです。\n完全放置することももちろん選択肢の１つだとは思いますが、僕は弱い人間だったので無視されると悲しくなります笑\n\nですので、彼と連絡を取っていなければホームルームの後などさりげなく「頑張ってね、応援してるよ！」などと声かけされてみてはどうでしょうか？(同じ高校でなければ電話してみてください！)\n彼女からの応援は必ず彼のパワーになると思います。実際僕もかなり頑張れました。\nそれで冷たくされるようなら器の小さい男でしょうが、長いお付き合いをしているようなのでそんなことはないでしょう。\n応援していることを伝えた上で、何日までは連絡を取らないなどあらかじめルールを決めるのも１つだと思います。そうすればこの日までは頑張ろうなどと思えるかもしれません。\n\n長くなってしまいましたが、まずは今抱えている気持ちを伝えることでりょうさんも悩む要素が消え、彼も勉強に集中できて相乗効果が生まれるのではないかと思います。\nあまりにも境遇が似ていたので思わず返事してしまいました。参考になれば嬉しいです！頑張ってください！\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"恋愛との両立"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"慶應の経済学部の者です。\n僕も高2の1月に同じ高校の彼女ができて、一緒に受験を乗り越えたので、男の立場から回答させていただきます。\n\n受験期って割と勉強勉強勉強という感じで単調だから、恋煩いとか勉強以外の悩み事が増えてしまいますよね。でもそれとうまく付き合わないと失敗してしまうので、はやく対処法を見つけましょう。\n\n僕たちがどう受験を乗り越えたのか説明します。\n\n❶朝一緒に自習室や図書館に通う。\n朝は割と時間を無駄にしている受験生が多いので彼氏と一緒に有効活用するといいと思います！彼氏にとっても勉強時間が増えるし、あなたも集中できると思うのでいいと思います。\n\n❷勉強の息抜きに一緒に散歩しに行ったり、学食でおやつを食べたりする。\n\n勉強の休憩にスマホをいじる受験生が多い昨今ですが、あれはあまり休憩にはなっていません。人と話したりなどするといいリフレッシュになって本当の休憩になります！\nあまり頻繁に休憩をとったり、長時間の休憩は避けるべきですけどね😅\n\n❸夜寝る前に電話する\n\n一日の勉強の進捗を話したり、明日の意気込みなどを話すといいですよ。次の日の勉強のやる気につながります！\n\n彼氏、彼女は受験の時にうまく付き合えば最強のパートナーになります。だから上手に付き合って、2人共々是非第1志望に合格してください！\n応援してます！^_^"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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