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1a:Tbfc,結論、付き合わない方がいいと思う！

でも、そのまま恋愛は続けて良いと思う。

どっちだよ笑って感じだけれど、要は今の感じのままにして付き合うのは合格後の方がいいと思うってこと。

この時期付き合うとね多分、不安感情増幅するだけだと思うんだよね。いらんことで心配したり、相手にされてないと悲しくなったり、成績低迷したとき八つ当たりしてしまったり。受験中も円満にやってるカップルは回答者の周りはいなかったな。

最初はうまくやるんだけれど、徐々に崩れていく感じ。

なので、最初の、お互い力合わせて頑張ろ！くらいのそこまで干渉しない、付き合う前の時期のほうが良いモチベーションを保てると思う。

ちなみに回答者は、高３では絶対に彼氏作らないと決めていたので作らなかったけれど(いや作れなかった?w)、良い恋愛はしてた😏

ちょっとそのときのことしゃべっていいですか。笑


塾のひとで、苗字順で席が前のひとだったんだけれど。最初はお互い全く関心がなかったが、ある日何気ない会話で、お互い好きなおでんの具が昆布ということで仲良くなった。
成績も同じくらいで、模試のあとは必ず成績を見せ合う仲に。彼にバカにされないように、差が開かないように、勉強も頑張れた。
家ではお互い勉強できない派だったので毎日塾の自習室通い&閉館まで一緒に勉強した。閉館のときは、自習室が真っ暗になるので2人で肝試し?をしたり。青春をした。
しかし受験が近づくにつれ、個別授業などが増え、会う機会が減っていった。
センター後、私大入試直前、久しぶりに彼と会った。すると彼は、次はいつ会えるかわからないから、、と、学ランのボタンを私にくれた(鼻血)。私はそのボタンを筆箱の中に入れ受験に挑んだ。強くなれた気がした...
回答者は結果合格。彼は国立志望だったのでまだ受験が残っていたが、お祝いしてくれた。初めて彼の自転車で2人乗りして町を回ったりした。だいぶうかれていた。
でも実は彼はセンターがあまりうまくいっていなかったようで。第一志望ではなく、地方の国立へ行くことが決まった。
回答者も進学の準備やら進学してからもドタバタ忙しく、彼に会えたのは結局それが最後であった、、、、、
彼とは結局友達以上恋人未満だったけれど、彼と頑張れたから合格できたのかも知れない。。なんて思っている。。。涙


、、、、何が言いたかったのか忘れたけれどとりあえず
・まだ付き合うな
・付き合う前の良好な関係が良好なモチベーションとなる

いかがでしょう。
1b:T17a7,はじめまして！

理系チックな返答をします笑。初めに言っておきますが、かなり無機質です。感情論的なアドバイスはお互いをよく知る友人等に貰って貰って、私からはあえて客観的で徹底した合理主義的なアドバイスをさせていただきます。色々な角度からのアドバイスを踏まえて判断してもらえればと思います。それらを理解した上で以下読んでいただければ幸いです。

まずもえさん側は現状の関係性で十分満足していて、それが今崩れようとしている。お相手はさらなる関係性を望み、もえさんも満更ではなさそう(文面から判断しました)。
結論から言うと、崩れた結果もえさん側に利があるなら恋愛に発展させればいいと思います。具体的にはもえさんのモチベが上がるみたいなメリットがある、あるいはもえさん自体に特にデメリットはないがお相手にメリットがあるなどありましたら。一方もえさん側にメリットがないどころかむしろデメリットがあるなら今は受験に専念した方がいいですね。例えば息抜きと称してめちゃくちゃデート誘われるとか今は勉強の話をしている時間にめちゃくちゃ惚気だすとか、お相手がもえさんが今求めていること以上のことを求めてくる時ですね。受験というのは今後の人生を変えます。そんな重要な時期に、本人が望まないのに相手に合わして自分の勉強ができないのは勿体なさすぎます。

これは同性として勝手に妄想する事なのですが、現状それなりに近しい関係性でいるのにも関わらずさらに欲するとなれば、あまりもえさんに都合のいい展開には転がらない気がします。もえさんが求めるような関係性ならば恋愛に発展させる必要はないですからね。
ただ精神的な安定が欲しいだけという可能性もありますが、お相手のことが分からないので判断しきれないところですが。。。

少し話が逸れましたが、肝心の恋愛と勉強が両立できるかですが、結局受験というのは必要な知識を入れ必要な技術を身につける必要があります。そのために必要な時間を確保できるかどうかが合否を分けます。自分の持つ時間からその時間を引いて残った時間に収まる恋愛ができるかが返答になります。要するに人によります。
厄介なのが、恋愛というのは相手がいます。相手の恋愛観が自分の(主に時間的な)枠に収まるか、それだけでも大変なのにさらに自分の恋愛観が相手の恋愛観の枠に収まるか。これらを同時に満たす必要があります。恋愛がとる比重が大きいともちろん枠には収まりませんし、小さいからと言ってあまりにも小さいとじゃあ恋愛に発展させなくて良くない？となります(つまりあんまり現実的では無い)。
もえさんに限った話をすると、お相手と恋愛するにあたって今もえさんが得ている刺激だったりモチベを得続けられるかつ今の勉強の比重と競合しないかがまず問題です。それが満たされた上で、じゃあ次はお相手がそれで満足するかですね。こればっかりはもえさんにも我々部外者にも分からないので本人に聞くしかないです。
1つ提案としては、そこら辺を伝えた上で本人に決めさせればいいと思います。「私はこれは譲れないしこういうことは今したくない」というのを伝えてそれで納得できるならば恋愛に発展させれば良い。まあ正直恋愛の駆け引きは度外視しているので、そんなことするぐらいなら恋愛なんかしない！と思われても当然です笑。

ただこれまで話したのは、私の価値観や経験に基づく一つの考えなので、必ずしも合っているとは限らないし、何よりもえさんは従う必要も無いです。恋愛とか受験とかはあくまでもえさんの人生なので、最終自分の望むままにすればいいと思います。理屈ではこうなんだけど、本能的には真逆！みたいなことも当然あります。どちらを採るかは我々他人には決めれません。そしてそうした結果の責任も我々他人には負うことは出来ません。それさえ分かった上で判断すれば良いと思います。
そして何より、自分が後悔しないこと！ いくら受験の結果が悪くても自分が納得できていればそれでいいと思います。極論受験はいつでもできますが、その時出会った人との恋愛はその時限りです。他人と生まれるものである以上自分自身の都合だけではどうにもならないので。受験も恋愛も自分一人ではなんとも出来ない領域がある以上、結果自分が納得できるかが重要だと思っています。片方をとってもう片方に後悔が残るなら少し決断が早かったことになります。逆に何をしてと後悔するとなると逆に後悔はしないと思います(あの時はそうせざるを得なかったから仕方がないと割りきれるはず)。

以上、超理系的な返答でした笑。
感情論は極力排除しているので、もしかすると「何言ってんだこいつ」「何も分かってない」となるかもしれません。そういう時は全然無視してください。
もし万が一にももっと聞きたいことがあるという奇跡があるならばコメントください。できる範囲内で助力したいと思います。
再三言いますが、後悔だけはしない選択を！1c:T12d6,こんにちは！

受験と恋愛　誰もが悩む問題ですよね。

かくいう僕も受験生の時に同じ思いをしながらもなんとか早稲田大学に現役で合格する事ができたので、もし参考になったら嬉しいです。

まず最初に言いたいことは

自分がどうしたいかだと思います。

　僕たちは相談に応えるという仕事ですがあくまでもアドバイスに過ぎません。

人のアドバイスを鵜呑みにして上手くいけばそれまでですが、仮に悪い結果になった時にはとてつもない後悔が起きます。

だから一番大事にして欲しいのは自分がどうしたいのかです。

それを踏まえて僕なりのアドバイスをしたいと思います。

告白するかしないかという点についてですが、受験後に告白するのが妥当だと考えます。

というのはたとえ付き合っているという形でなくてもそれと同等な関係にはなる事は可能です。

受験というのは所詮一人で最後は試験場という舞台に立ちます。

しかしだからといって受験というのは一人で行うものではありません。　

環境というものがとてつもなく大きな影響を与えます。

先生、友達、家族その他にも数えきれない程の人や物が受験の結果を左右する大きな要因の一つと言っても過言ではありません。

辛い受験期において共に目標に向かって努力しあえる友達ほど心強く支えになる存在はありません。

相手の方と仲良くなったのであれば一緒に受験勉強を乗り切る戦友として試験終了までお互い接してはいかがでしょうか？

おそらく相手の方も近くで一生懸命目標に向かって努力する人がいるならば、自然と自分も受験に専念してお互いを高め会える関係になると思います。

勉強に関してお互いに相談したり、苦手な事を教えあったりする事で自然と他の人よりも話す機会が増えます。

人間というのは単純接触効果といって　目を合わせたり、簡単な挨拶などの何気無い接触の回数が増えれば増えるほどお互いに信頼して好意的な関係になります。

また人は誰かに助けを求められて、その人を助けると、その助けた相手に好意的になるとも言われています。

受験期自体に付き合って別れたことによって受験に支障が出るぐらいなら、安定した関係のままで一緒に受験を乗り切る方が僕はいいと思います。

僕も好きな人がいましたが、そこで好きという感情を抑え込むのはなかなか難しいと考えて逆に利用してやろうと思いました。

授業中や自習の際に自分が理解できるだけではなく

相手に勉強楽して欲しいから、めっちゃ分かりやすい説明をして勉強を助けられるように

より深く本質を捉えて勉強しようというモチベーションを常に持っていました。

そうすると、とてつもなく捗りますし相手の人ともめっちゃ仲が良くなります。
またお互いに受験の相談もしたりしていたので学力もぐんぐんアップしました！

受験では話さなくなることはある意味ではありますが、

逆に受験で今まで以上に話すことが多くなると思います。

受験と恋愛の両立というのは一見難しいようですが、考え方視点を変えるとめちゃくちゃメリットがあります。


僕が受験時代に相手の人と一緒に過ごした時間はとっても充実して物凄い楽しい時間でした。

別に付き合ってはいませんでしたし、結局付き合うことはしませんでしたが、何にもない時に付き合うよりも受験という人生でも僅かしか経験ができない期間を一緒に切磋琢磨して過ごした関係、時間は掛け替えのない物です。


告白をしなくても付き合ってると同等な関係もしくは受験期だけの、おそらく最後の受験でしか過ごせない充実した関係が築けます。


繰り返しになりますが、告白するかしないか決めるのはあなたです！

振り返って後悔がないように、


今を全力で過ごしましょう！

全力で過ごすことができたならば決して後悔はありません。

自分を信じてこれから受験、恋愛その他諸々に全力でぶつかってください！

残り少ない高校生活があなたにとって

一生の宝物になる事を願っています。

2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=eucXteiOWdDFlur4durx","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"受験と恋愛の両立について"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",5,") コメント(",0,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"4/23 17:00"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark 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mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"友達の話でよろしければ。\n\n高二の冬から付き合い始めた友人カップルは今現在も付き合っており、どちらも志望校に合格しています。\n\n夏までは頻繁に会っていたようですが、夏休み明けは二人で話しあって2人で学校外で会うのは週に一回にしようと決めたそうです。つまり2人は質問者様と同じように恋愛も勉強もがんばったわけです。\n\n\nたしかに、恋人がいると落ちる！みたいなのってよく聞きますよね。そりゃ恋人に割いてる時間を英単語暗記の時間にまわせば偏差値あがるでしょ…とは思いますが、だからといって受験生が恋愛をしてはいけないなんておかしいです。受験は結局日々の生活の延長であり、勉強だけに時間を割くのは苦しいです。ですから友人カップルのように時に励まし合い、時に諌め合うといった関係を築ければ良いですね！\n\nただ、友達（彼女のほう）いわく「勉強以外に気にしなきゃいけないことがあるのは疲れる」そうです。例えば喧嘩しただとか、彼氏の誕生日だ、とか。ここは覚悟しないといけないかもしれませんね。\n\n\nかくいう私は勉強に全振りしていましたが…\n今思えば恋愛もしつつ受験したかったなー笑\n\nせっかくお付き合いすると決まったんですから、まずは楽しんでください！！笑\n\n問題が生じたらその都度考えればヨシ、なはず……"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_gT5CXAiWAZXAIHDcQIhjni5ESFW2.jpg?alt=media&token=62ad05b6-e9ef-47ae-8e4b-1e17d9f61d49","adviserName":"84","adviserDepartment":"東北大学教育学部","adviceId":"eucXteiOWdDFlur4durx","numberOfFan":5,"clipsAvg":4.32,"adviceRateAvg":4.709677419354839,"profile":"偏差値55の地方高校から塾なしで現役合格しました！\n（スタサプの通常コースのみ利用）\n\n\n【共テ選択科目】\n日本史 倫政 生物基礎 化学基礎\n\n【2次試験】\n現古漢 数学 英語"}]}],["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink パンフレットバナー画像","className":"mt-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L17",null,{"id":"adsbygoogle-init-under-advice"}]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":["コメント(",0,")"]}],["$","$L18",null,{"adviceId":"eucXteiOWdDFlur4durx"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs p-4","children":"コメントで回答者に感謝を伝えましょう！相談者以外も投稿できます。"}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"集中できない、、"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。\nいかにも青春といった感じでうらやましいです。\n\n受験期の恋愛には障壁が多いですが、人を好きになる気持ちを止めることはできませんよね😰この状態で好きな気持ちを抑えて勉強なんて絶対できませんよね。悶々としたまま本番に入ってしまうのは避けたいですよね。\n\n思い切って気持ちを伝えてしまうのがいいと思いますよ。\nただ、その際あなたが挙げられていた不安も伝えてあげてください。恋愛のせいで自分と相手の受験に悪い影響が出てしまうのではないか不安だと。相手があなたの想いに応えてくれるなら、きっと一緒に真剣に考えてくれます。\n彼が受験を理由に告白を断ることは明確、と言われていましたが、そうとも限らんと僕は思いますよ。僕は男ですが、受験勉強は基本的に独学だったので心細い時もありました…やはり1人で勉強だけするのはしんどい。そんな時に自分をいつも支えて、そして一緒に頑張ってくれる人がいてくれたらそれはもう嬉しいものです。しかもそれが恋する人だといったら、なんと素敵なことでしょうか。というわけで、もし自分がお相手なら快諾します。（もちろんデート等はできるだけ我慢してくださいね。まあ予備校デートとか模試デートとか素敵そうですけど）あとはあなたの想いにお相手がどれだけ応えてくれるかの問題です。気持ちを伝えるのはあなたの仕事、選ぶのは相手の仕事、振られてしまったら、潔く諦めて勉学に集中しましょう。\n案外立ち直れるものです。（しばらくは落ち込みますが）\n\n最後に…苦しくて泣きそうなほど人を好きになれるということは本当に素敵で、羨ましいと思います。そんな想いを受験のせいで相手に届けることができない…なんて悲しいというか、なんだか虚しすぎるとは思いませんか？僕個人の意見として、受験とか関係なくその想いは絶対に相手に伝えるべきだと思いますよ。これから1年間悩みは多いと思いますが、あなたに恋愛と受験、2つの春が訪れることを願っています。\n\n人の恋愛事情もよくわからない、いち大学生の身分で失礼しました。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"モヤモヤ"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"こんばんは！\nあー...その気持ち、非常によく分かります😅\n勉強に集中したいのに、しなきゃなのに、他のことに気を取られてしまう、、、。\nそういうことはきっと受験が終わってからもつきまといます。集中しなきゃいけない時ほどなぜか他のことが気になってしまう...!!\n僕自身、高3のときに彼女がいて、彼女も受験だったのですが色々とごたごたしてもめているときもありました...\nそういうときは得てして勉強に身が入らないものです...が、この時間の残り少ない時期には非常に良くないことです！！それを重々理解した上で、頭の切り替えを行ってみましょう。イメージとしては頭のスイッチをカチッと入れ替える感じで、その切り替えのルーティーンを意図的に自分で作ると良いです。簡単な例を挙げるなら、ゆっくり深呼吸して今は1秒を争うときである、と自分に言い聞かせる、などです。それでも気になることがある時は紙面にそれらをメモ程度に書き付け、勉強を終わらせてからまとめて心のわだかまりについて考えられるようにし、勉強の進行をなるだけ妨げないようにします。\nこれらをするうちに僕の場合はメンタルも自然と強くなっていき、試験のたびに緊張していた僕も受験のとき、全く動じることはありませんでした。\n是非一度試してみてください！\n追伸:受験を理由にあなたと別れたのに、今他の人と付き合っているような男のことを気にするのはあなたの時間がもったいないですよ！あなたの将来を第一に考えてみてください。他のことを考えていたせいで受験に失敗した...なんて勿体無い話だと思いませんか？僕の周りにそれで失敗した人がいましたが、やはり本人が一番後悔していました。悔いの残らないよう、頑張りましょう！！(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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