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17:I[7060,["51","static/chunks/795d4814-03346c8d233b4adb.js","212","static/chunks/212-70508e17017a12c2.js","231","static/chunks/231-5dc9f3acdba63b0c.js","54","static/chunks/54-f848f8ba1c362ca7.js","23","static/chunks/app/advice/%5Bid%5D/page-53a773e0095d4429.js"],"AdUnderAdvice"] 18:I[3194,["51","static/chunks/795d4814-03346c8d233b4adb.js","212","static/chunks/212-70508e17017a12c2.js","231","static/chunks/231-5dc9f3acdba63b0c.js","54","static/chunks/54-f848f8ba1c362ca7.js","23","static/chunks/app/advice/%5Bid%5D/page-53a773e0095d4429.js"],"CommentPostButton"] 1a:I[3866,["51","static/chunks/795d4814-03346c8d233b4adb.js","212","static/chunks/212-70508e17017a12c2.js","231","static/chunks/231-5dc9f3acdba63b0c.js","54","static/chunks/54-f848f8ba1c362ca7.js","23","static/chunks/app/advice/%5Bid%5D/page-53a773e0095d4429.js"],"AdOnAdviceList1"] 19:Td0e,私も親の立場にはまだなったことがないですが、高校受験に失敗した経験や、入学して数年経ったということを踏まえて答えさせていただきます。(私の母親も短大出身ですし、父親も私の大学よりはランクは低いですので、似た状況ではあるのかもしれません。) 結論、質問者さん本人が全てに納得し満足する状態になるまでは、両親はアドバイスや小言を言うかもしれません。逆に、質問者さんが納得出来るようなかたちに落ち着けば、恐らく両親は何も言ってこないでしょう。そして、いかなる状況でも両親には子供を様々な面から支える「義務」と、結局はサポートしたいという「愛情」が少なからずあるように思われます。 質問者さんの思考は「迷惑をかけたことや金銭的な援助をしてくれた両親に対する恩返し」の思考がかなり先走っています。自己中心的な思考がありません。 自分のことは、まずは自分主体で考えるべきでしょう? あなたが現状に満足していないから両親と喧嘩してしまうのであり、現状に満足しているのであれば、両親は安心(無関心の場合もありますが)して何も言わないことでしょう。 私の高校の友人の話にはなりますが、3年間塾に通った上で第一志望に落ちてしまったけれども、大学の単位を最低限とりながら公認会計士の試験に合格したという事例があります。それも、同じ状況の人が複数人います。 彼等も同じように、大学合格後は両親と口論したそうです。 しかし、自分の目標を新たに見つけ、その圧倒的な努力の過程を両親に見せることで新たに信頼と応援の気持ちを獲得し、結果としては全員が納得する形に落ち着いています。 両親の学歴を気にする気持ちも分かります。 実際、現役生だった私も、「2人は今の自分の状況なんて全く理解できないだろう」とつっぱなしてしまっていました。 しかし、少なくとも25~35年くらいは自分よりも長く生きている筈です。 その中で、学歴が優れている人、優れていても人間性が劣る人、学歴の問題を跳ね返した人、そもそも学歴とは全く関係が無い生き方をしている人・・・様々な状況の人に会い、様々な人生を見てきたはずです。それを踏まえた上で、あなたに可能な限りの選択肢を共有しているのであって、どれだけ学歴が離れていても、経験則から生み出された思考はあなたのそれよりも優れている場面が大半です。 まずは、今あなたが一番なりたい姿を考えてみましょう。 そして、現実と理想の間にギャップがあるのであれば再度努力することで両親を納得させていきましょう。どんな環境でも、あなたに最も反発し、あなたに最も寄り添ってくれる存在である両親とは、関係は切り離せられませんからね。 以上、参考になれば幸いです。 1b:Tf23,将来の夢がしっかりと決まっていて、凄いですね。 大学生でもここまで進路が決まっている人はいませんよ! 自分なんかが回答していいような内容なのか分かりませんが、一意見として書かせて頂きます。 (詳しい内情を知らないので、色々勘違いがあったらすみません) まず相手が何を考えているのか、お互いが理解し合っていないように感じました。 憶測ではありますが、お父さんが考えているであろうことを書いていきますね。 【上京について】 これは多かれ少なかれ反対しますよね。 愛する娘が自分の元を離れるわけですから。 子どもからしたら、 「夢」を応援するのが親の役目でしょ! と思うかもしれませんが、心配するが親の性なのでなかなか難しいですよね。 【公務員について】 お父さんは今まで苦労されてきたのではないですか? その苦労を愛する娘に味わって欲しくないのではないでしょうか? 社会に出てみて、 「やっぱり公務員が正解だ」 と感じたからこういう事を言うのでしょう。 お父さんの伝え方は不器用かもしれませんが、意地悪を言っているわけではなく、娘を想っての助言なのでしょう。 【志望校について】 これも同様です。 受験に失敗して、苦労して欲しくないのでしょう。 A判定を出していれば、反対することもないでしょうが、E判定なら反対してもおかしくはないです。 「頑張ろうとしてるんだから応援してよ!」 と思うのですが、 「そんなに立派にならなくてもいいから、外部からの火の粉を排除したい」 と考えるのが親心だと思います。 もちろん現実味があれば、応援したくない訳ではないと思います。 【最後に】 まだ親の保護下にあるわけですから、説得は避けて通れないと思います。 やろうと思えば、奨学金で大学に通って、下宿代もバイトで何とかすればいけなくもないですが、めちゃくちゃ厳しいです。 それは最終手段として、自分がどこまで深く考えていて、どれだけの覚悟と計画性があるのかをしっかりと伝えるのがいいと思います。 まずはお母さんを味方につけます。(ここ重要) そして説得できるかは分かりませんが、 ①自分の将来の夢。その動機と理由 ②その手段としての就職先。他の就職先ではなぜダメなのか。 ③その手段としての大学。他の大学ではなぜダメなのか。 ④その大学に入るために自分は具体的にどういう努力をするつもりなのか。 を論理立てて紙に書き、話してみては如何でしょう? (口頭だけでは、論理立てて伝えるのは難しい) 考えが甘い!と言われるかもしれませんが、 本気度が分かれば、相談にも乗ってくれるかもしれませんよ。 親は 「子どもはいつまでも子ども」 だと思っていて、自分の子がどこまで考えているのか分からないものですから。 説得が難航するようなら 「秋の模試でA判定を取れたら考えてほしい」 と猶予を設けて、その間に本気度を見せつけるというセコい手もあります。(通用するかは分かりませんが) 昔気質な頑固な方かもしれませんが、 キチンと自分の本気度と計画性が伝われば、気持ちが動くかもしれません。 難航するとは思いますが、お母さんの助太刀も利用しつつ頑張ってみて下さい。 応援してますよ! 2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=H7Rx12ChvNZb6KB8","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"親との会話"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left 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whitespace-pre-wrap","children":[["$","div","consultation-part-0",{"children":[null,"最近、親と進路について話せません。\n日常的な他愛もない会話ならできますが、進路のことになると自分の言いたいことが言えなくて、親のペースのまま会話が進んでしまいます。\n\n先輩方もこのような経験ありましたか?\n仮にあった場合、どのように話していましたか?"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L14",null,{}]}],null]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L15",null,{"adviserImageUrl":null,"adviserName":"okameee","adviserDepartment":"京都大学法学部","adviceId":"H7Rx12ChvNZb6KB8"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"すべての回答者は、学生証などを使用してUniLinkによって審査された東大・京大・慶應・早稲田・一橋・東工大・旧帝大のいずれかに所属する現役難関大生です。加えて、実際の回答をUniLinkが確認して一定の水準をクリアした合格者だけが登録できる仕組みとなっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"確かに僕にもありました。\nほっといたら親のレールに乗せられていきそうでした。でも高校受験と違って大学受験はその先どのように生きていくかに大きく影響します。そしてその決定した道を生きていくのは親ではなく子供自身です。そりゃ親の主張は経験によるものでありがたいものですがそこだけはきちんと主張しないとダメだと思います。\nそれでどうするか。\n親と対立する部分については頭ごなしに否定するのではなくきちんと聞く。そしてそれを踏まえた上で自分はそれでもこうしたいということを言えば説得力があり効果は多少あるかと思います。本とかも読んでみたって言ったりしていかに本気かを示すのも大事かもしれません。親は大概子供はあまり考えてないと思うみたいですからね。\n僕はこんな感じで話をして進みたい道に進ませてもらいました。質問者さんが納得のいく進路に進めることを願っています"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"adviserImageUrl":null,"adviserName":"okameee","adviserDepartment":"京都大学法学部","adviceId":"H7Rx12ChvNZb6KB8","numberOfFan":371,"clipsAvg":8.012048192771084,"adviceRateAvg":4.32,"profile":"京都大学で陸上やってます\n大阪出身です\n\nお気軽に質問どうぞ\n浪人した身ですが出来る限り力にならせていただきます"}]}],["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink 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mb-1","children":"受験中、親のサポートに感謝したり、お返しをしたりするのはかなり難しいと思います。特に、今の状態が崖っぷちで、合格に対して焦っているほど、自分に対するふがいなさを家族にぶつけてしまうようなことがあるかもしれません。\nまず、親にはちゃんと言うべきだと思います。ただ、言葉には気を付けて。当たるのではなく、「友達はこうだけど私はこうしたい、だからこっちの道に進む私を応援してほしい」という風に、丁寧に説明してみてください。親御さんもきっと理解してくれると思います。言わないで我慢するのは、お互いのためにもよくないですしね!\n\nまた、親との関係性は難しいですよね。私も受験生の時には、とにかく静かにしてほしい、部屋に入らないでほしい、邪魔しないでほしい、と今考えるとひどいことをずいぶん言っていました。相当余裕のなかった受験生活でしたし、受験当日に持って帰ってきた問題を勝手に丸付けとかするので、イライラしていましたね…\nだけど早稲田受験最後の日、朝会場に向かっていた時に、中学受験の時お世話になった先生が「最後に家族に感謝できる子は必ず合格する」と言っていたのを思い出しました。そうして思い返してみたときに、初めていろんな人への感謝があふれてきました。受験校を決めるときも出願の時も、何から何までお世話になりましたし、私が勉強だけしていればいいようにサポートしてくれていました。綺麗ごとみたいですが、それに気づかされた時に、めちゃくちゃ感動して、試験前に一人で泣きそうになっていました笑\nだから、今の時期に親に対していろいろ思ってしまうのは仕方ないと思います。金銭面でのサポートを受けているのは確実だと思うので、そこに対する感謝は持ちつつ、適度な距離感を置いていていいと思います。もちろん理不尽なことをいう親御さんもいますが、もしそうでないなら、最後に自然と感謝の言葉が出るんじゃないかな、と思います!\n\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"誰か教えてください"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"受験に対して不安になるのは全ての受験生がそうです。自分の人生が変わるような決断を迫られているのだから不安にならない人なんていません。受験が近づくにつれてナイーブになってくるのはよくわかります。\n\nでも人のせいにするのは良くないですね。受かったも落ちたも全ては自分の責任です。勉強するのは別に偉いことではない。世の中の勉強したい全ての人に受験の権利が与えられるわけではないです。親も受験が近づいている子に向かって不用意なことは言わないように気をつけているはずです。それでも何か気に触れることを言ってしまってルイくんが怒ったならば謝っていたはずです。ルイくんも本当は親のせいとか親ガチャなんてことは言いたくはないんじゃないですか?自分の気持ちが上手くコントロール出来ないのは時期的に仕方ないので、それによって傷つけてしまった人がいるならば謝りましょう。\n\n受験に挑むときは心構えはすごく大切です。焦る気持ちは答案に表れますし、出来るだけ落ち着いて対処できるようにする必要があります。まずは自分の身の回りを整えて、それから本番を想定した練習をして、十分な準備をして本番に挑んでください。\n\nすごく突き放しているように感じたかもしれないけれど、このことは受験が終わった後にもとても重要になってきます。志望校に受かることだけが人生の全てじゃないです。ただし、志望校に受かるための取り組みは今後の人生を必ず左右します。後悔のないように過ごしてください。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"親との関係について"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"そんな親に言って意味があるかはありませんが毒親について説明してあげてはどうですか?\n\n母「ほんとにあんたはダメだね。他の子はあんなに頑張ってるのに」\n\nあなた「お母さん、毒親って知ってる?自分の物差しでしか子どもを測れずに頭ごなしに否定しまくる親として失格な親のことを言うんだよ。あなたはそんな深く考えずに発言しているのかもしれないけど、子どもは親の発言で傷付くんだよ。どうせ今もバカみたいなこと言ってとか思ってるんでしょ。そもそも私の何を知ってるの?知らないくせにごちゃごちゃ言わないで。ろくなこと言えないんだからせめて何も言わずに黙っててよ。受験終わるまででいいから。お願いしてもダメ?簡単なことじゃん。自分のストレスのはけ口を私にしないで。お願いだから。」\n\n母「そんなことばっか言ってないで勉強したら?受験落ちるよ?」\n\nあなた「ほらまた否定したでしょ。もう否定グセついてるんだよ。悲しい人間だね。でもお母さんの子でよかったわ。どんな親がダメな親なのかわかったから自分は反面教師で気をつけることができるからね。ありがとう。」\n\n母「」\n\nもうスカッとジャパンですね。本当に辛いと思いますが、頑張ってください。あと将来的には親と距離を置いた方がいいですよ。自分をマイナスに誘う存在は自分から遠ざけるのが吉です。また辛くなったらお話聞きますね。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"うるさいんです"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして\n\nただでさえ精神的にめちゃくちゃ追い込まれる受験で、家族が応援してくれないのは大変ですよね…。\nこれは理想的すぎる展開かもですが、一度親としっかり話し合う時間を設けてもいいかもしれません。それで一日潰れたとしても、小言や嫌味が言われなくなるだけでそれ以降の日々の質は変わるのではないでしょうか。たとえ何かの事情で応援できない訳があったとしても、yukiさんの挑戦を邪魔していい理由にはならないはずです。\n大学は人生が変わります。受験は人生を変えるための選択です。資質、環境、背景全てが排除されて試験の点数一発で結果が決まります。僕自身それまで何も無い人生でしたが、京大に受かって人生が変わりました。yukiさんも似たような覚悟があるのだと思います。それをぶつけてみてはどうでしょうか。たとえ無理だったとしても、それまでの努力は無駄にはなりません。たとえ京大が無理だったとしても積み重ねで今だとまだ手の届かない大学に受かるかもしれません。浪人して再挑戦という選択肢もあります。そう考えると京大は絶対に無理なんて決めつけるのは時期尚早です。なにより士気を削ぐことは志望校以前に何もプラスにならないです。\nかなり時代錯誤ではありますが、お父さんの中で「女の子は地元から出してはいけない」「女の子で浪人はありえない」みたいな考えがあるのかもしれません。確かに適齢期の話をすると男性よりシビアな部分は人によってはあるのかもしれません(浪人した女性の知人たちも気にしている人は一定いました)。yukiさんなりに答えを出してそれをぶつけてみてもいいかもしれません。結果折り合いがつかなくとも、「何考えてるかわからん攻撃的な人」から「価値観が違う人」に変わるだけで付き合い方が考えられます。\n\nyukiさんのことをよく知らない立場で踏み込んだことを言ってしまったかも知れません。もし気分を害したなら申し訳ないです。\nでも現状が確実なマイナスなら、プラスにならないまでもゼロにするためのアクションはすべきだと思います。そういう経験は受験に限らずいつか役に立つと思います。\nたとえ家族は応援してくれなくとも、ここにいる人はyukiさんの受験を応援していますし、僕自身yukiさんには満足のいく結果で新学期を迎えて欲しいと思っています。遠慮せず色々ぶちまけてください笑。\n色々大変だとは思いますが、勉強頑張ってください!"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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