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1c:Tbfc,結論、付き合わない方がいいと思う！

でも、そのまま恋愛は続けて良いと思う。

どっちだよ笑って感じだけれど、要は今の感じのままにして付き合うのは合格後の方がいいと思うってこと。

この時期付き合うとね多分、不安感情増幅するだけだと思うんだよね。いらんことで心配したり、相手にされてないと悲しくなったり、成績低迷したとき八つ当たりしてしまったり。受験中も円満にやってるカップルは回答者の周りはいなかったな。

最初はうまくやるんだけれど、徐々に崩れていく感じ。

なので、最初の、お互い力合わせて頑張ろ！くらいのそこまで干渉しない、付き合う前の時期のほうが良いモチベーションを保てると思う。

ちなみに回答者は、高３では絶対に彼氏作らないと決めていたので作らなかったけれど(いや作れなかった?w)、良い恋愛はしてた😏

ちょっとそのときのことしゃべっていいですか。笑


塾のひとで、苗字順で席が前のひとだったんだけれど。最初はお互い全く関心がなかったが、ある日何気ない会話で、お互い好きなおでんの具が昆布ということで仲良くなった。
成績も同じくらいで、模試のあとは必ず成績を見せ合う仲に。彼にバカにされないように、差が開かないように、勉強も頑張れた。
家ではお互い勉強できない派だったので毎日塾の自習室通い&閉館まで一緒に勉強した。閉館のときは、自習室が真っ暗になるので2人で肝試し?をしたり。青春をした。
しかし受験が近づくにつれ、個別授業などが増え、会う機会が減っていった。
センター後、私大入試直前、久しぶりに彼と会った。すると彼は、次はいつ会えるかわからないから、、と、学ランのボタンを私にくれた(鼻血)。私はそのボタンを筆箱の中に入れ受験に挑んだ。強くなれた気がした...
回答者は結果合格。彼は国立志望だったのでまだ受験が残っていたが、お祝いしてくれた。初めて彼の自転車で2人乗りして町を回ったりした。だいぶうかれていた。
でも実は彼はセンターがあまりうまくいっていなかったようで。第一志望ではなく、地方の国立へ行くことが決まった。
回答者も進学の準備やら進学してからもドタバタ忙しく、彼に会えたのは結局それが最後であった、、、、、
彼とは結局友達以上恋人未満だったけれど、彼と頑張れたから合格できたのかも知れない。。なんて思っている。。。涙


、、、、何が言いたかったのか忘れたけれどとりあえず
・まだ付き合うな
・付き合う前の良好な関係が良好なモチベーションとなる

いかがでしょう。
1d:T10ce,恋人と同じところを目指すために志望校を変えた、とのことですが、モチベーションが上がって成績が上がりそうなら、いい判断だと言えると思います。ただ、仮に受験より前に別れたとしても気持ちを変えずに頑張れるのか、仮に進学後に別れたとしても入学したことに後悔しないか、真剣に考えましょう。志望校を変える前にどこを目指していたのか分かりませんが、変えたことで少し目標が高くなるくらいがちょうどいいと思います。もし低くなったり同レベルだったりしたら、後悔する可能性が高いので。
別に同じ大学を目指さなくても、お互いにライバル視して高め合うことはできるし、モチベーションになるので、別の大学への気持ちが少しでも勝ったら、本当に行きたい大学を目指しましょう。そういう大学が見つかるまでは、同じところを目指せばいいと思います。

また、もし片方が落ちたらどうしようという不安も分かります。しかし、これは同じ大学を目指すかにかかわらず、付き合っている以上は考えてしまうことです。ですから、彼がいるから絶対に落ちるわけにはいかない！という強い意志を持って頑張りましょう。

受験期の恋愛は賛否が分かれるところで、恋人がいたら上手くいかないから受験期の恋愛は避けるべきだと言う人も多くいます。しかし私は、勉強と恋愛についての価値観が同じなら、お互いを高め合える最高の存在になり得ると思っています。つまり、今自分たちにとっては勉強が最優先だという共通理解があって、相手のために頑張ろうとか、相手が頑張っているから自分も負けずに頑張ろうとか、モチベーションにできれば、最強です。逆に、一方だけが勉強へのやる気が不足していると、その人だけが会える時間が少ないことを不満に感じ、気持ちがすれ違います。また、お互い意識せずに孤独にそれぞれ勉強すると、一緒に戦い抜いた感覚が無く、相手が必要だという気持ちになれません。


最後に、私自身の経験をお話しします。

私は質問者さんと同じ頃(高2の夏)から付き合っていた彼女と一緒に受験を乗り越えました。目指していた大学は違いましたが、1年生の頃からライバル視していて、きつい時には「俺が休んでる時も彼女は頑張ってるんだろうな」「絶対に負けない」「裏切りたくない」「俺だけ落ちるわけにはいかない」という思いで頑張っていました。3年生の5月以降は、(1周年記念日は気晴らしに遊びましたが)基本的に勉強以外の目的で会うことはありませんでした。受験が近くなると、決めてたわけではないけど毎週末図書館に行き、隣の席で一言も話さず勉強しました。模試などの点数について尋ねることはなく、自分より上だろうなと勝手に決めつけて、負けないように努力しました。最終的に彼女は、地域枠推薦で地元の国立大医学部に合格しました。合格が分かったのが私の二次試験の2週間前だったのですが、私は合格を知って、これで俺が落ちたら負けだと思って必死に勉強しました。彼女は、自身の受験が終わったあとも遊んだりせず、私の大学が決まるまで一緒に勉強してくれました。その彼女とは、遠距離にはなりましたが、今も支え合いながら過ごしています。


この回答を書きながら、色々思い出して一人でぼーっとしてしまいました(笑)


ということで(？)、モチベーションを高めることができるのなら同じところを目指せばいいと思いますが、今後恋愛がどうなっても後悔しないような勉強をしてほしいと思います。


たくさんある意見のひとつとして捉えてもらえると幸いです。2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=F0TNIXEBTqPwDZPuWQn9","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"指定校推薦の彼女と一般の自分"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",2,") コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"3/29 0:40"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark 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mb-1","children":"それほど慎重になれてる時点で、付き合うことが受験に悪影響を及ぼす可能性は低いのではないかと思います。むしろお互いの存在を勉強の励み、モチベーションに繋げることができれば、受験も成功するのではないのでしょうか！受験も恋愛も後悔しない選択が一番です。もし仮に100%受験を優先して、付き合わない選択をすることに後悔が残らないと思うのならばそうすればいいと思います。付き合うべきかどうかはもちろん他人には決められません。もし付き合わない選択をして後悔しそうと感じるのであれば、一度受験と切り離して考えてみるべきです！\n自分が受験生だった頃にも周りにカップルは多くいましたが、受験に成功するか失敗してしまうかは結局は本人達しだい。でも一つ言えるのは、仮に失敗したとしてもそこには恋愛以外のたくさんの原因があるものです。失敗した人の中で、「これは付き合っていたからだ」などと全部恋愛のせいにする人はいないはずです。なので受験の失敗を恐れて恋愛感情を押し付けるのは、僕はおすすめしません。むしろ付き合ったことが受験の失敗の原因にならないように努力しようという気持ちに切り替えてみればいかがでしょうか。\nもし周りに応援してくれるような友人などいればその人たちの意見なども聞いてみてもいいかもしれませんね。是非参考にしてみてください！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 6-2m0-12C9.79 4 8 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"これからの恋人との関係性 "}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"対策法\n\n⑴彼に事情を話して解散する時間を30分後とか、事前に決めとく\n\n⑵週一で1時間程度の電話にする(多分家にいた方が勉強への切り替えもしやすい)\n\n⑶一緒に帰る頻度を2週に一回とかに減らす(あまり良くない気はしますが笑)\n\n⑷高校時代の青春は貴重なのでそのまま続ける\n\nのどれかじゃないですかね。\n\n正直クッソ羨ましいので私は⑷推しです。週1の1〜2時間程度なら良いリフレッシュになるんじゃないかなと思いますし、お互い目指しているレベルが高いので受験の話題で切磋琢磨できるんじゃないかなと思います。\n\nお互い大変な時期なので何事も溜め込まずに正直に話し合うのがお互いの精神衛生上良い気がします。\n\n何か恋愛と受験をトレードオフで考えられてる方多い印象ですが、そんなことはないと思います。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"集中できない、、"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。\nいかにも青春といった感じでうらやましいです。\n\n受験期の恋愛には障壁が多いですが、人を好きになる気持ちを止めることはできませんよね😰この状態で好きな気持ちを抑えて勉強なんて絶対できませんよね。悶々としたまま本番に入ってしまうのは避けたいですよね。\n\n思い切って気持ちを伝えてしまうのがいいと思いますよ。\nただ、その際あなたが挙げられていた不安も伝えてあげてください。恋愛のせいで自分と相手の受験に悪い影響が出てしまうのではないか不安だと。相手があなたの想いに応えてくれるなら、きっと一緒に真剣に考えてくれます。\n彼が受験を理由に告白を断ることは明確、と言われていましたが、そうとも限らんと僕は思いますよ。僕は男ですが、受験勉強は基本的に独学だったので心細い時もありました…やはり1人で勉強だけするのはしんどい。そんな時に自分をいつも支えて、そして一緒に頑張ってくれる人がいてくれたらそれはもう嬉しいものです。しかもそれが恋する人だといったら、なんと素敵なことでしょうか。というわけで、もし自分がお相手なら快諾します。（もちろんデート等はできるだけ我慢してくださいね。まあ予備校デートとか模試デートとか素敵そうですけど）あとはあなたの想いにお相手がどれだけ応えてくれるかの問題です。気持ちを伝えるのはあなたの仕事、選ぶのは相手の仕事、振られてしまったら、潔く諦めて勉学に集中しましょう。\n案外立ち直れるものです。（しばらくは落ち込みますが）\n\n最後に…苦しくて泣きそうなほど人を好きになれるということは本当に素敵で、羨ましいと思います。そんな想いを受験のせいで相手に届けることができない…なんて悲しいというか、なんだか虚しすぎるとは思いませんか？僕個人の意見として、受験とか関係なくその想いは絶対に相手に伝えるべきだと思いますよ。これから1年間悩みは多いと思いますが、あなたに恋愛と受験、2つの春が訪れることを願っています。\n\n人の恋愛事情もよくわからない、いち大学生の身分で失礼しました。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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