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16:Tcf9,はじめまして。
｢私だったらこう思ってこうする｣という内容を書いておきます。

少しでも時間が惜しいかつその友人との関係性を捨てることを厭わないなら、｢あいつらしょうもないな｣と見限るという方法もあります。倫理的にどうかは置いておいて、選択肢のひとつです。まぁおすすめはしませんが。
その友人たちとの関係性を今後も保っていきたいなら腹を割って話し合うべきです。自分の内面でどう折り合いをつけてもその関係性は改善することはあまりないです(時間が解決することもありますが待ってるのも結構辛い)。というかそれがなかなか出来ないから質問したんだと思います。なので一旦腹を割って話し合うべきです。｢自分はこのギスギスした関係嫌だから解消したい｣と伝えましょう。なぜこんなことになってしまったのか、どこがまずかったのか、どうすればこうならなかったのか、それが客観的に正しいかどうかは別として、当事者間で納得ができるとギスギス感は無くなります。以前と同じように話せるようになると思います(そうすればストレスもなくなるはず)。

ただ気をつけなければいけないのが、お互いに自分の都合を押し付けないことです。｢自分がこうだからこうしろ｣とは言わないこと。逆に相手の｢自分こうだからこうしろ｣という主張(というより態度)もちゃんと批判しましょう。どちらかの立場が優勢な関係ではなくフラットな関係でいられるように努めることが、良い関係を作るコツだと私は思います。そしてお互いが満足出来るラインを見つけましょう。｢自分はこうだからこうしたかった｣｢相手はこうだったからこうしたかった｣を擦り合わせて｢じゃあどうすれば2人or3人が満足・納得できるか｣を話せばいいと思います。
そもそも前提として相手が話し合いに応じてくれていますが、正直｢お前とは話したくない｣と言われたらもうどうしようもない気がします。｢対話の終わりは戦の始まり｣という言葉がありますが、私の場合だったらそいつとの関係性を切ります。それぐらい話し合い・対話は大切だと思っているからです。

仲違いしている人に話しかけるのはかなり負担になると思いますが、それで悩んで負う負担と比べてみてください。話しかけてみれば一瞬で終わります。


長々と小難しい話をしましたが、プロフィールにもあるように私は学生寮に住んでいます。四六時中他者がいる環境で過ごしているので、やはり何かしら問題は起こります。その時に大切になってくるのが当事者間の話し合いです。これは全寮が共通して持っている見解(というより入寮する時に説明される原則)です。結構それで上手く回っていると思います。参考までに自分の中で検討してみてください。1d:T10e0,友達は必要です。気が合わないと思う人ともある程度接点は持っておいた方が確実に受験を有利に進めれます。

受験期間中に友達と気が合わないと思うことは多々あると思います。一匹狼でもいいやと思ってしまうかもしれません。でも、その考え方はやめた方がいいです。その理由は大きく分けて2つあります。

1つ目は、受験期に1人になることは想像以上にデメリットが大きいです。私も一匹狼になった友達を見てきましたが、本当に苦しそうでした。まず、一人でいると確実に必要な情報が入ってきません。情報戦に負けてしまいます。今周りの人が何に取り組んでいるのか、受験に出そうな問題はどこにあるのか、受験時の服装や交通はどうするのか、このような情報は大切です。知っておかなければ、自分だけが波に乗り遅れるだけでなく、必要以上に労力を消費してしまい、時間や思考を無駄にしてしまいます。次に、精神面で不安定になります。過去問や参考書でわからない問題が出てきた時、簡単に聞ける存在が身近にいないと困ってしまいます。先生や講師に聞けばいいやと思うかもしれませんが、質問する為だけに時間を作ったり、移動したりするのは非常に時間がもったいないです。他の受験生がLINEやSNSで気軽に情報を集めたり友達と相談していることを考えると、この時間のロスは無駄になります。また、友達と問題を出し合う中で、インプットとアウトプットの練習ができます。自分が知らなかった、相手が知らなかった、このような情報を相互に補完し合うことで効率的に学べるだけでなく、自分自身の学力向上にも繋がります。気軽に相談できる友達は良きライバルであり、よき勉強相手であり、さらにメンターでもあります。

2つ目は、大学生になってからの人間関係です。大学に入ってから新しい友達を作ればいいと思うかもしれません。それは一理あります。しかし、高校時代の友は大学で出会った友とは関係が異なります。高校時代の友達の方が関係性が密になります。私自身、大学で出会った同じ学部の友達やサークルの同期と遊んだりしますが、それ以上に高校事大の友達との関係の方が蜜です。高校時代の友達とは日々連絡を取りあっています。また、帰省した時には必ず遊びますし、長期休み中にお互いの進学先に遊びに行ったりもします。さらに、それぞれが違う大学に進学しているのですが、お互いの交友関係を活かして、全く縁のない人とも交友を持つことができました。これは確実に高校時代の友達のおかげですし、高校時代の友達の大切さを身に染みて感じています。ここで私から重要なことをお伝えします。今は志望校の違いや受験方法の違いで距離を感じたり嫌になったりするかもしれませんが、大学に入ってしまえばそんないざこざは無くなります。受験に成功した人も失敗した人もみんな仲良くしています。今の一時的な感情で友達との縁を切ってしまったり、大切な友達を恨んだり傷つけたりするようなことは絶対にしないでください。心の中でどう思っても構いませんし、自分の部屋などの人目につかない場所で心の気持ちを吐き出すことは重要だと思います。でも、その気持ちを他人にぶつけたりしないでください。自分がした事は自分の身に必ず返ってきます。友達との関係を大切にしてください。

今の自分の気持ちを書いてみたら非常に長い文章になってしまいました。駄文が多すぎたと思いますが、最後までお読みいただきありがとうございます。これからも友達との関係を大切にしてください。応援してます！

1e:Tc7c,こんにちは！

受験期の過ごし方は親や先生からしっかりするよう言われることが多いので、気を張りがちになってしまいますよね！(スマホは全く見ない！とか)。しかし、スマホを断つ、他のことをしないということばかり意識してしまって勉強が手につかなくなるのは本末転倒ですよね。正直なところ、多少スマホをいじっているからといって成績が上がらないわけではありません。逆に、一日1.5時間程度ならいい気休めにもなって勉強効率も上がると思いますよ！他の受験生の中でも、全くスマホ断ちができている人なんてほんの一握りですし、わざわざそうする必要もありません。大事なのは、受験当日その日まで、しっかりメンタルを安定させつつコツコツ勉強に励むことです。ならば、友達とゆっくりLINEで話す時間は、「勉強と同じくらいの大切」だと言えます。スマホをいじる自分に罪悪感を覚えるのは良くないです。使いすぎはダメですが、一日勉強を頑張った自分へのご褒美だと思えばいいでしょう。

➀孤独との付き合い方についてですが、私がやっていたのは、日記を書くということです。もちろん学校で友達と話したりするのが孤独の解消にはちょうどいいですが、これからの時期はそうもいかなくなりますよね。学習報告ついでに毎日2.3行スマホのメモ帳にでもその日の気分や不安、1ヶ月後の自分への応援メッセージなど書いておくと、過去の自分がそばにいてくれる気がして心強いですよ！また、学校の友達とクイズを出し合ったりしながら、切磋琢磨していくのも一つだと思います。歴史の一問一答を1人でやるのではなく、たまには電話で友達と交互に出し合ってみたりすると、楽しみながら勉強できますよ！(しかも、声に出して問題を出したり答えたりするから、記憶がより早く定着します！)

➁勉強以外のことでの悩みについて、友人関係の悩みは全く幼稚じゃないですよ！勉強しながらも周りの人間関係を考えられてること自体十分立派です。解決方法についてですが、私は力技で、他のことを考えながらでもできる勉強をしていました。例えば英語の音読や、歴史の一問一答を声に出しながらやる、と言うことです。口に出して勉強していると、勝手に脳が内容を覚えていってくれるものです。何なら音読は普通に勉強の一部として取り入れてもいいと思います。
　

色々と書きましたが、受験期はひたすら悩みと向き合う期間です。しんどいことも多いですが、それを乗り越えた先にきっと合格があると思います。これから冬になりラストスパートですが、気負いすぎずリラックスして頑張ってください！応援しています！2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=8T3OF28BTqPwDZPu4xM7","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"人間関係の悪化"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",12,") コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"12/18 16:00"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"UniLink利用者の80%以上は、難関大学を志望する受験生です。これまでのデータから、偏差値の高いユーザーほど毎日UniLinkアプリを起動することが分かっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L13",null,{"clientImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_415D98154C624B588F770257126D2465.jpg?alt=media&token=4c2abdbc-43a1-4a43-8c5b-d6f23ca6dfc0","clientUserName":"Autumn","infoString":"高3 神奈川県 筑波大学人間学群(60)志望","adviceId":"8T3OF28BTqPwDZPu4xM7"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose 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mb-1","children":"✅友人は大事。\n\n→受験は個人戦か、団体戦か。よく言われていることですよね。私は学校では受験は団体戦と教えられました。塾では個人戦だよねと教えられました。結局どっちなん、、、。\n一年受験勉強を通してわかったこと。それは受験は団体戦でもあり個人戦でもあるということ。受験は1人では絶対にできません。家族の支えや友人の支え、先生の支えがあってこその受験です。それを個人戦と見切って一匹オオカミのごとく周りをはけていく。それは違うのかなって一年通して思いました。特に私は友人の存在に助けられました。\n\n\n私には中学、高校、大学と同じの友人が1人います。今でもとても仲良くしています。私が早稲田に行けたのは彼のおかげかもしれない。度々そう思っています。本当に感謝しています。具体的に何をしてもらったのかというと……\n何もしてもらってません笑笑 ただいつも一緒にいてくれました。一緒に勉強をしていった仲間は彼だけではありませんでしたが彼が最も存在が大きかったです。\n一緒に切磋琢磨して言える仲間の存在は本当に大事です。成績という数字だけではなくメンタル面で一緒に頑張っていける友人は本当に大事だと思います。\n\n✅質問者さんの現状況に対して。\n\n→私からはどうした方がいいという具体的なアドバイスはできませんが、上記にもあげた通り友人の存在は本当に大きいです。友人は友人でも一緒に頑張っていける仲間。いて楽しい友人と一緒に頑張っていける友人は同じ場合もありますが別の場合もあります。切磋琢磨できる友人を大切に。これだけです\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"ともだちとのことに悩んで、、、"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"\n質問者さんはきっとすごい優しい方なんですね。\n\nでもちょっと気負いすぎているところもあるのではないでしょうか？\n\n一緒にいたくない人とはそもそも関わりを持たなかったり、話たりしないのが一般的です。\n\n一緒にいる、という事実だけでそのお友達もあなたを必要としていると思います！\n\nどうか自分を過小評価せず、残りの高校生活も楽しく過ごしてもらえればと願っています。\n\n\nさて話変わりますが、大学においての生活は高校生活と比べて遥かに自由で、友達の輪も広がります！\n\n他大学の子と知り合ったり、共通の趣味で繋がったり、或いは外国人留学生と仲良くなったり、、、。\n\n特に早稲田大学は全国から人が集まり人種のるつぼと化してますから、気が合う人と出会わないなんてことはありません！\n\n高校と比較して一段大人の付き合いにはなっていきますが、多種多様な人がいる為、色んな人と絶対に友達になれると思います！\n\nぜひ期待してください！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"余裕のなさで人にあたってしまう"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。私も同じような時期がありましたので、お気持ち分かります。\n\n私なりの考えですが、友人と話していて楽しいと思えないのであれば、無理に一緒に帰らなくても良いのではないでしょうか。イライラを隠すのもストレスでしょうし、隠しきれないのであれば関係が悪化する恐れもあります。理由はこのあと塾がある等、ご自身の状況に合わせて事実ではなくても伝えればいいと思います。\n\n孤立するのが怖いのであれば、学校での休み時間ぐらいは話してあげたらいいと思います。私の高校はいわゆる進学校でしたが、共テ直前でも休み時間は話している人が多かったです。もちろん隙間時間の活用は大事ですが、休み時間の10分程度たまに友人と話したところでそこまで変わらないと思います。ストレスを溜めすぎないためにもこれは必要だと思います。\n\nまた、私は隙間時間を有効活用しようとしすぎて信号待ちで参考書を読んでいた時期がありましたが、今思えば危険だしそんなことしても合否に影響しなかったなと思います。\n\nあと、ご飯を食べながら鉄壁をやっていたこともありました。まあ今振り返ると偉いんですが、なら早く食べ終えて集中して机に向かえばよかったなと思います。\n\n要は私の場合、こんな隙間時間でも勉強してるんだ、っていう自己満足だったのかなと思います。質問者さんの場合はそうではないかもしれませんが、いかなる時でも参考書を開こうという意識でいるより、普段の勉強での集中力を上げたほうが効率的だと感じます。\n\nそして、親の配慮が足りないなと思っても親には当たらないほうがいいです。私は共テ直前にメンタルが壊れかけましたが、母親が励ましてくれたおかげで乗り越えられました。親とは毎日顔を合わせるのですから、やはり友人とは関係が異なります。気に障ったとしても抑えましょう。\n\n私は最後まで実践できませんでしたが、少しは余裕を持つことも大切です。受験勉強頑張ってください。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"モヤモヤ"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"こんばんは！\nあー...その気持ち、非常によく分かります😅\n勉強に集中したいのに、しなきゃなのに、他のことに気を取られてしまう、、、。\nそういうことはきっと受験が終わってからもつきまといます。集中しなきゃいけない時ほどなぜか他のことが気になってしまう...!!\n僕自身、高3のときに彼女がいて、彼女も受験だったのですが色々とごたごたしてもめているときもありました...\nそういうときは得てして勉強に身が入らないものです...が、この時間の残り少ない時期には非常に良くないことです！！それを重々理解した上で、頭の切り替えを行ってみましょう。イメージとしては頭のスイッチをカチッと入れ替える感じで、その切り替えのルーティーンを意図的に自分で作ると良いです。簡単な例を挙げるなら、ゆっくり深呼吸して今は1秒を争うときである、と自分に言い聞かせる、などです。それでも気になることがある時は紙面にそれらをメモ程度に書き付け、勉強を終わらせてからまとめて心のわだかまりについて考えられるようにし、勉強の進行をなるだけ妨げないようにします。\nこれらをするうちに僕の場合はメンタルも自然と強くなっていき、試験のたびに緊張していた僕も受験のとき、全く動じることはありませんでした。\n是非一度試してみてください！\n追伸:受験を理由にあなたと別れたのに、今他の人と付き合っているような男のことを気にするのはあなたの時間がもったいないですよ！あなたの将来を第一に考えてみてください。他のことを考えていたせいで受験に失敗した...なんて勿体無い話だと思いませんか？僕の周りにそれで失敗した人がいましたが、やはり本人が一番後悔していました。悔いの残らないよう、頑張りましょう！！(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"「逃げ」だと分かっているけど…"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"受験は本当に大変ですよね…。質問者さんのお気持ちとても分かります。\n\nまず、お友達についてです。受験は団体戦とも個人戦とも言いますよね。私はどちらもだと思っています。私の場合、人と比べてしまう性格で、親友と志望校が被っていたこともあり、受験期はとても意識していました。意識しすぎて、親友の点数が良かったり、勉強を頑張っている様子を見たりするととても焦ってしまい、自分にとって良くないなと思ったので、少しだけ距離を置いていました。(今では2人とも志望校に合格し、大阪で仲良く頑張っています！！)しかし、仲間も必要です。塾で毎日夜10時まで勉強していましたが、塾で出来た友達(みんな志望校が違うので気持ち的に楽でした)とお昼ご飯や夜ご飯を一緒に食べて気分転換をしたり、悩み相談をしたり、励ましあったりしていました。彼女たちのおかげで辛い受験を乗り切れたと思っています。要するに、受験を乗り切るにはある程度友達を選ぶ必要があると思います。受験期くらい自己中になってもいいので、自分にとってプラスになる友達と頑張りましょう！！\n\n勉強時間についてですが、今はその時間で十分です。5月の末に引退したのですよね？それならまだ長時間の勉強に慣れていません。勉強時間ほぼゼロからいきなり10時間以上勉強なんて不可能です。徐々に慣れていけばいいのです！今土日で8～10時間勉強できているのであれば、夏休みは1日12時間勉強できるはずです。今は耐えの時期です！その勉強時間に慣れましょう！！\n\n泣いても笑ってもあと約8ヶ月です！誰でも挫けそうな時はあります。挫けそうな時でもやるかやらないかが合格不合格の分かれ目です！8ヶ月勉強死ぬ気で頑張って、解放される日を想像してみて下さい。私は受験生の1年間が18年で1番しんどくて努力して、でも合格発表の日のあの感情が忘れられません。この感情は1年死ぬ気で頑張った人だけが得られるものだと思っています。全ての受験生がこの感情を味わえたらいいのに…と思います。\n\n部活を最後まで頑張った人は集中力が違います。意地を見せてましょう！1年くらい本気で頑張ってみましょう！！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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