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19:Tbfc,結論、付き合わない方がいいと思う！

でも、そのまま恋愛は続けて良いと思う。

どっちだよ笑って感じだけれど、要は今の感じのままにして付き合うのは合格後の方がいいと思うってこと。

この時期付き合うとね多分、不安感情増幅するだけだと思うんだよね。いらんことで心配したり、相手にされてないと悲しくなったり、成績低迷したとき八つ当たりしてしまったり。受験中も円満にやってるカップルは回答者の周りはいなかったな。

最初はうまくやるんだけれど、徐々に崩れていく感じ。

なので、最初の、お互い力合わせて頑張ろ！くらいのそこまで干渉しない、付き合う前の時期のほうが良いモチベーションを保てると思う。

ちなみに回答者は、高３では絶対に彼氏作らないと決めていたので作らなかったけれど(いや作れなかった?w)、良い恋愛はしてた😏

ちょっとそのときのことしゃべっていいですか。笑


塾のひとで、苗字順で席が前のひとだったんだけれど。最初はお互い全く関心がなかったが、ある日何気ない会話で、お互い好きなおでんの具が昆布ということで仲良くなった。
成績も同じくらいで、模試のあとは必ず成績を見せ合う仲に。彼にバカにされないように、差が開かないように、勉強も頑張れた。
家ではお互い勉強できない派だったので毎日塾の自習室通い&閉館まで一緒に勉強した。閉館のときは、自習室が真っ暗になるので2人で肝試し?をしたり。青春をした。
しかし受験が近づくにつれ、個別授業などが増え、会う機会が減っていった。
センター後、私大入試直前、久しぶりに彼と会った。すると彼は、次はいつ会えるかわからないから、、と、学ランのボタンを私にくれた(鼻血)。私はそのボタンを筆箱の中に入れ受験に挑んだ。強くなれた気がした...
回答者は結果合格。彼は国立志望だったのでまだ受験が残っていたが、お祝いしてくれた。初めて彼の自転車で2人乗りして町を回ったりした。だいぶうかれていた。
でも実は彼はセンターがあまりうまくいっていなかったようで。第一志望ではなく、地方の国立へ行くことが決まった。
回答者も進学の準備やら進学してからもドタバタ忙しく、彼に会えたのは結局それが最後であった、、、、、
彼とは結局友達以上恋人未満だったけれど、彼と頑張れたから合格できたのかも知れない。。なんて思っている。。。涙


、、、、何が言いたかったのか忘れたけれどとりあえず
・まだ付き合うな
・付き合う前の良好な関係が良好なモチベーションとなる

いかがでしょう。
1b:T1279,りりさん、はじめまして。
私が率直に感じたことを書いていこうと思います。あえて、受験勉強に関する具体的なアドバイスは一切しません。受験勉強した方がいいという言葉も一度も使いません。
もしお時間がありましたら、読んでみて下さい。

素直に、りりさんは優しい方なんだなと感じました。

友達の不幸を喜びに感じてしまう自分が嫌なるのも、指定校合格した友人に嫉妬をする自分が嫌になるのも、根底の部分が優しくなければ、自分を嫌いに思う感情は起こりえません。

まずは優しい心を持っている自分のことを褒めてあげて下さい。

受験というのは恐ろしいもので一度沼にハマると受験だけが世界の全てではないか、第一志望に受からなければ自分の価値はないのでは無いか、そんなことを考えてしまいがちです。分かりきっていることだと思いますが、実際はそうではないのです。別に志望校に落ちたからといって死ぬわけでもなんでもありません。志望校に落ちて、滑り止め校に入学したほとんどの人は半年もすれば、サークルやバイト、趣味などを謳歌します。喉元過ぎれば熱さを忘れるなんてことわざがありますが、まさにこれです。
だから、もっと気楽に勉強して良いんですよ。

私の両親は高卒ですが、立派に仕事をして私を大学に入れられるほど稼いでいます。私の兄妹は短大です。友人には、高卒でフリーターをしている人や、高校中退して最終学歴は中卒の人もいます。みんな大学には行っていないけれど、不幸そうにはとても見えません。
ある程度の学校に通っていると大学進学しか道がないと思い込みがちですが、全くそんなことはないのです。

受験が辛いのならやめていいです。辞める勇気がないのなら、ゆっくりのペースで勉強するのも良いです。自分のことを1番大切にすると良いでしょう。

私は今ショーペンハウアーという哲学者の『幸福について』という本を読んでいます。すごく端的にまとめると、人間が幸福を感じるかどうかはその人を取り巻く環境ではなく、その人自身の考え次第ということです。

受験で考えてみましょう。
早慶に入学する人の中でも、早慶に入りたい！と考えていた人は喜ぶでしょうが、東大に入りたいと考えていた人はきっと落胆します。このように同じ条件、同じ環境でもその人の考え方次第によって幸福かそうではないかが決定されるのです。

YouTubeで10分程度でまとめている方もおられるので暇だったら少し見てみてください。

この考えを知ると少し気持ちが楽になると思います。大学に入らないと幸せになれないという思考そのものが不幸を作り出す要因なのです。

だらだらと書き連ねてしまいましたが最後に。
「やったほうがあとの人生で得できるんだろうな」というこの考えがりりさんを今受験勉強に縛り付けている原因そのものだと思います。

半分正解で半分間違いです。

何を得とするかによるからです。
「得」を「職業の選択」と定義するなら、
中卒より高卒、高卒より大卒、MARCHより早慶、早慶より東大京大。上へ行けば行くほど自分の職業の幅が広がるのは間違いないでしょう。
しかし、「得」を「自分の幸福」と定義するならば、果たして良い企業に勤めることだけが「幸福」なのでしょうか？違います。自分の好きなことをやること、行きたい場所に行くこと、共に時間を過ごしたい人と過ごすこと。他にも無限にありますが、これらを獲得する方法は受験勉強だけではないはずです。

一度、立ち止まって考えてみると良いでしょう。自分が何をしたいのか。

考えた結果、他にやりたいことがあるなら、それに向かって突き進んでみて下さい。その経験は必ずあなたを成長させます。
もしもう一度勉強すると決めたなら、このアプリで相談をしてみてください。私でなくてももちろん良いです。残りの時間でどうすべきか、誰かがきっと良い勉強法を教えてくれるはずです。2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=7jWriW0BTqPwDZPu7JJU","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"受験生は恋愛など捨てるべきなのか"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",3,") コメント(",0,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"10/1 23:33"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark 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mb-4","children":"すべての回答者は、学生証などを使用してUniLinkによって審査された東大・京大・慶應・早稲田・一橋・東工大・旧帝大のいずれかに所属する現役難関大生です。加えて、実際の回答をUniLinkが確認して一定の水準をクリアした合格者だけが登録できる仕組みとなっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap 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mb-1","children":"大学受験を改めて考え直してみましょう。\n\nそもそも受験とは、同じ偏差値の人々を同じ環境に集めるだけではありません。\n同じ偏差値・同じ高校・大学に合格するためには、勉強量がほとんど同じになるはずです。そのため、削ってきた余暇時間、犠牲にした趣味や遊び、かけてきた費用も基本的には似てきます。そのため、同じ学校の人との人生の価値観が似てきます。受験とは、偏差値のふるいにかけるのではなく、価値観のふるいにかけられていると言っても過言ではありません。\n\n\nですので、あなたが1年後、大学の先輩後輩同級生に対してストレスを抱くようであれば、今無駄にしてしまっている時間のせいで価値観のふるいに落とされ、自分の行いのせいで劣化した環境に行かざる得なくなったと考えるのが妥当でしょう。\n仮に高校の同級生と馬が合わないのであれば、そもそも高校受験も妥協しているはずです。また同じ失敗を繰り返すのでしょうか。\n\n\n\nまた、大人になればなるほど、大学受験は人生で1番大切なものではなく、３～４番目くらいには大切だと言います。\n\n\n結婚や就活や仕事、人付き合いやコミュニケーション能力など、受験以上に大切なことは人によって異なれど、たくさんあるはずです。\n\nですので、最悪大学受験は妥協しても、それより優先順位が高いものを頑張ればよいのです。\n\n\n\n\n\nとは、なりません。\n３～４番目に大切なものすら頑張れないようであれば、それ以上に大切なことなんて頑張れるはずがありません。\n\n\n\n似たような価値観を持つ友人と過ごす大学生活は、非常に心地よく、楽しいものです。\n自分の価値を上げ、人生で岐路に立たされた時も努力ができるよう、今、あなたはそんな人間に当てはまるかどうか試されているのです。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary 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