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1c:Tf4f,親御さんにお伝えください。もし、29to077さん本人の言葉では信頼してもらえないなら、東大に合格した人間である僕の言葉としてお伝えください。

大学受験は、中学受験や高校受験とは全く性質が異なります。

中学受験、高校受験は多くの場合、親子二人三脚で歩むものです。志望校も、大抵のケースでは親が提案して、子供が受動的に決めますね。
しかし、大学受験で親にできるのは、食事などの体調面でのサポート、学費などの金銭面でのサポート、そしてその他の全ての受験に関することを一切子供に委ね、任せる姿勢をとることのみです。
委ね、任せる、とは放任、つまり放っておくこととは違います。そうではなく、ただ子供の狭い視野に入っていないであろう他の選択肢を示し、自分自身がそれらについてどう感じているかについて子供に意見を述べて、そして後の判断は全て他人のする他人のこととして一任するということです。
勉強しろ、と言われながら勉強していた、または勉強している人間に、僕はこの大学で会ったことがありません。最初のきっかけはそういうこともあったのかもしれませんが、少なくとも高2にもなれば、親がどうこう言わずともやる人はやりますし、やらない人は何を言ってもやりません。そして、干渉すればするほど子供は親のために勉強するようになります。親の前でしか勉強しない子供と、親のいないところでしか勉強しない子供、どちらが健全かは明らかです。

反抗期とは、親の干渉が過多の時に起こるものです。

また、子供にとって干渉だと感じられるようなことが多くなっているにもかかわらず、本気でお子さんが意見を伝えてきている時に、それを信頼せず真摯に耳を傾けないなら、それはもはや抑圧であり、家族という関係が、子供にとって足枷になり得ます。
一旦、単純に同居している他人として、対等に向き合おうとする姿勢を持つべきであると、僕は思います。

その存在を肯定してあげること、君は生きてていいんだよと伝えることが愛だと僕は考えています。どうか自らの理想を子供に負わせるのではなく、ただ見守るということをしてあげてほしいと思います。



29to077さん本人にも伝えておきたいことがあります。

色々ツッコミどころの多い親御さんですが、それでも、どんな形であれ親が心配してくれるのは、大変ありがたいことです。また、もし遅くに帰宅した後に夜食等を作ってもらったりしているなら、それにも感謝の念を伝えなければなりません。
東大を目指され、今猛烈に勉強されているくらいなのですから、必ず、親御さんはあなたのことを愛しているはずです。ただその表現をどうするか、いまいちよくわかっていらっしゃらないだけだと思います。

どうか、僕の意見も携えて、一度本気で、じっくりと親と話し合う時間を作ってみてください。やはりこれについては、あなたにも説明責任ってやつが、生じていないこともありません。
それさえ断られたら、仕方がない、東大に受かるから口出しするなという宣言でもするしかないですかね。。。


高2でその勉強量なら、確実に合格に近づいていけるはずです。ぜひ周りの大人たちにも相談などもしてみつつ、障害を無くしていってください。2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"親と話したくない"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",8,") コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"2/20 22:35"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"UniLink利用者の80%以上は、難関大学を志望する受験生です。これまでのデータから、偏差値の高いユーザーほど毎日UniLinkアプリを起動することが分かっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L13",null,{"clientImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_E862D0E0455A419788FA8868E7280F25.jpg?alt=media&token=dbf44089-daf3-49d8-8349-4686b895407a","clientUserName":"瑠璃","infoString":"高2 静岡県 早稲田大学文学部(69)志望","adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap","children":[["$","div","consultation-part-0",{"children":[null,"私は早稲田大学第一志望の高2です。\n父親は医者です。私は父親が本当に勉強の妨げになります。皮肉ばかり言って、人をすぐに馬鹿にし、とても短気で何か怒らせると粘着質に叱ってきます。\n私には小さい弟が2人いるのですが、私と母に面倒を任せっぱなしで仕事以外はほとんどスマホやパソコンをいじっています。こんな人にはなりたくないです。\nまた、俺は授業料しか払わないといって、学校の模試代や自分の教材やお小遣いは母が働いて払ってくれています。\n逆らったら大学進学にも影響が出るので私は逆らえません。ですが、家では必ず会うし、話さなければならないので仕方のない事ですが本当に嫌いすぎて顔を見るだけでイライラします。\n受験期はこんな父親のことを考えてる暇なんてないので気にしたくないのですが今はイライラしてしょうがないです。どうしたらいいでしょうか、、泣"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L14",null,{}]}],null]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L15",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_03A903AE5C674300B4DC80CF45AEDA4D.jpg?alt=media&token=9b15b328-048b-4bca-a911-d9f524695bf6","adviserName":"かすみ","adviserDepartment":"早稲田大学教育学部","adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"すべての回答者は、学生証などを使用してUniLinkによって審査された東大・京大・慶應・早稲田・一橋・東工大・旧帝大のいずれかに所属する現役難関大生です。加えて、実際の回答をUniLinkが確認して一定の水準をクリアした合格者だけが登録できる仕組みとなっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"似たような状況でした\n会話しなければならない時は会話したほうがいいしなるべく父親の機嫌を損ねないようにしたほうがいいと思います。\n自分はそれができず怒りを買い入試の直前に大学の学費は払わないと言われてしまいました。\n受験期に勉強以外の不安があることはとてもストレスになるし勉強に手がつかなくなる原因になります。\nなのでできることなら仲良くしておいたほうがいいです。そして裏で悪口言いまくりましょう笑\n僕は受験期ストレスゼロの状態でいたかったのでツイッターで裏垢を作ってずっと愚痴ってました笑\n愚痴を聞いてもらうのも１つの案として何かストレス発散の方法を見つけるのも手だと思います。\n共感して長文になってしまい失礼しました。"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_03A903AE5C674300B4DC80CF45AEDA4D.jpg?alt=media&token=9b15b328-048b-4bca-a911-d9f524695bf6","adviserName":"かすみ","adviserDepartment":"早稲田大学教育学部","adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g","numberOfFan":15,"clipsAvg":12.294117647058824,"adviceRateAvg":4.857142857142857,"profile":"教育学部1年 / 私文 / 日本史選択\n早稲田、上智、立教、法政、東洋 現役合格\n進研模試の偏差値45→早稲田合格の経験を活かして\nアドバイスできたらなと思います！質問気軽に！"}]}],["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink パンフレットバナー画像","className":"mt-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L17",null,{"id":"adsbygoogle-init-under-advice"}]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":["コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","$L18",null,{"adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mr-2","children":["$","$L19",null,{"avatarUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_E862D0E0455A419788FA8868E7280F25.jpg?alt=media&token=dbf44089-daf3-49d8-8349-4686b895407a","contributorName":"瑠璃","adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-2","children":["$","$L1a",null,{"contributorName":"瑠璃","adviceId":"3_UeC2kBTqPwDZPuTx0g"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption","children":"2/20 22:54"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs whitespace-pre-wrap","children":"私と似ている境遇の方がいらっしゃって、自分だけじゃないんだってとても安心できました。。。\n私も友達にたくさん父親の悪口聞いてもらっています、、。スッキリしますよね！\nこれからの自分のためにも、今の自分のためにも、父と揉めないように上手くやっていけるように心がけます！！\nありがとうございます😊。"}]]}]]}]]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":"よく一緒に読まれている人気の回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"/advice/z8RY1AKoRhlJvA6Q","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"受験期の親との付き合い方"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"受験期の親との関係はとても大事なのに、そこが上手くいかないと大変なストレスになってしまいますよね。残念ながら、親はその性格でその歳まで生きて来ているので、親に理解して直してもらうのはとても労力の要ることです。相談者さんの場合高校3年生なのでそんなことをしている余裕はありません。なので、ご両親との接触を減らすことを考えた方が良いと思います。\nまず、勉強に集中出来る環境を整えるために、家で勉強する時間を減らしましょう。塾の自習室や図書館を利用して勉強をして、家に帰って来たら夕飯、入浴、翌日の準備など最低限のことをできるだけ早く済ませて、さっさと寝てしまいましょう。そして、朝早く起きて、ご両親が勉強中に邪魔するはずの無いような時間に勉強すると良いです。\nストレス源(ご両親をこんな言い方してしまって申し訳ないですが)と付き合うとそれだけで疲弊してしまいます。受験生にとって一番大切なメンタルの安定、ストレス軽減を考えてくれない以上、あまり期待しないことが自衛につながります。ご両親と込み入った話をするのは費用面だけに留めて、進路や悩みの相談は仲の良い先生や先輩、またはこのアプリを使ってください。受験生に必要なのは、冷静な視点と純粋な励ましですから、それを理解してくれない相手に相談するのはマイナス効果の方が大きいのです。\nもちろん私も相談者さんのことを応援していますよ！まだ4月、可能性はいくらでもあります。前向きに頑張れば目標が現実味を帯びてくるはずです。頑張ってください！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"うるさいんです"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"親との関係について"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"そんな親に言って意味があるかはありませんが毒親について説明してあげてはどうですか？\n\n母「ほんとにあんたはダメだね。他の子はあんなに頑張ってるのに」\n\nあなた「お母さん、毒親って知ってる？自分の物差しでしか子どもを測れずに頭ごなしに否定しまくる親として失格な親のことを言うんだよ。あなたはそんな深く考えずに発言しているのかもしれないけど、子どもは親の発言で傷付くんだよ。どうせ今もバカみたいなこと言ってとか思ってるんでしょ。そもそも私の何を知ってるの？知らないくせにごちゃごちゃ言わないで。ろくなこと言えないんだからせめて何も言わずに黙っててよ。受験終わるまででいいから。お願いしてもダメ？簡単なことじゃん。自分のストレスのはけ口を私にしないで。お願いだから。」\n\n母「そんなことばっか言ってないで勉強したら？受験落ちるよ？」\n\nあなた「ほらまた否定したでしょ。もう否定グセついてるんだよ。悲しい人間だね。でもお母さんの子でよかったわ。どんな親がダメな親なのかわかったから自分は反面教師で気をつけることができるからね。ありがとう。」\n\n母「」\n\nもうスカッとジャパンですね。本当に辛いと思いますが、頑張ってください。あと将来的には親と距離を置いた方がいいですよ。自分をマイナスに誘う存在は自分から遠ざけるのが吉です。また辛くなったらお話聞きますね。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"親がうるさすぎる"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"親がうるさいのは\nきっと心配しているからですよ。\n心配しているから色々言ってきたりもしますし、\n機嫌が悪い時などは皮肉を言ってきたりもします。\n\n私の母は受験を経験したことがありません。\nなので、私も同じようなことを言われました。\n\n高3の1回目の模試で私は第1志望の判定がDでした。\nそのときに母は志望校を変えなさいと言ってきました。\nでも、秋の模試でA判定が出たとき、\n母は自分のことのように泣いて喜んでくれました。\n（本番ではなくただの模試なのに 笑）\n\n親がうるさい\n先生に志望校を下げろと言われる\n\nこれらは今の状況を客観的に判断してくれているからです。\nでも、あくまで『今』の状況です。\n\nでも、時間が経って\n結果を出せばすぐ手のひらを返しますよ\nなので、結果を出しましょう！\n\n夏までにD判定なら第一志望を受けさせないと言いますが、\n現役生ならば夏の模試でC判定が出れば万々歳ですよ。\n春や夏までは\n浪人生の方が仕上がっているのは当たり前ですから\n模試は厳しい結果が出がちです。\nでも、現役生は秋やセンター後にグングン伸びていきますから、\n判定にめげずに頑張り続けましょう！\n\n秋に模試で良い判定がとれるように死ぬほど努力してみてください！\n良い判定が出た模試を親の前に持って行ってあげて安心させてあげて下さい！\n\n夏D判定だからもう受けれないの知ってるけど\n無駄にA判定出ちゃった\nと冗談言えるくらいに結果を出してください！\n頑張れ！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"周りの声が辛い"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"「頑張った」だけではダメなんです。「結果を出す」ことが必要です。苦手なことで、トップになれと言っているわけではありません。例えば、ちゃんと免許のある医者が、単純な医療ミスで患者を殺してしまいました。医者が「頑張ったんですけど、死んでしまいました。」なんて言ったら訴訟に発展する恐れがあります。医者にとっての治療は、受験生にとっての勉強です。受験生は、「勉強で成果を出すこと」が求められています。基本的に、この1年間は、どの受験生も思うように勉強できなかったと思います。それでも、あなたより良い点数を取っている人はいると思います。残念ですが、それが現実です。お父さんの「環境のせいにするな」という発言は、今私が述べたことを踏まえているのではないかと思います。\n\nただ、「思うような結果を出せていない人」が、頑張っていないか、と言われると、必ずしもそうとは言えないと思います。あなたは頑張ったけど、思うように力を発揮できなかった。お辛いと思います。まずは、この気持ちを吐き出しましょう。このアプリだけではなく、友達、先生などにも相談しましょう。必ずしも、あなたが求めるような返答をくれないかもしれませんが、吐き出すことで多少楽になると思います。\n\n一度の失敗で全てを諦めてしまうのは良くありません。確かに、共通テスト利用は厳しい状況かもしれませんが、共通テストを利用しない型ならば、チャンスはあると思います。あなたが一生懸命やってきたことを、共通テストを利用しない入試にぶつけましょう。\n\n気持ちを切り替えるのは難しいと思います。でも、クヨクヨしている時間が一番もったいないと思います。1日も早く立ち直って、再スタートしてください。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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