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1c:Tbfc,結論、付き合わない方がいいと思う！

でも、そのまま恋愛は続けて良いと思う。

どっちだよ笑って感じだけれど、要は今の感じのままにして付き合うのは合格後の方がいいと思うってこと。

この時期付き合うとね多分、不安感情増幅するだけだと思うんだよね。いらんことで心配したり、相手にされてないと悲しくなったり、成績低迷したとき八つ当たりしてしまったり。受験中も円満にやってるカップルは回答者の周りはいなかったな。

最初はうまくやるんだけれど、徐々に崩れていく感じ。

なので、最初の、お互い力合わせて頑張ろ！くらいのそこまで干渉しない、付き合う前の時期のほうが良いモチベーションを保てると思う。

ちなみに回答者は、高３では絶対に彼氏作らないと決めていたので作らなかったけれど(いや作れなかった?w)、良い恋愛はしてた😏

ちょっとそのときのことしゃべっていいですか。笑


塾のひとで、苗字順で席が前のひとだったんだけれど。最初はお互い全く関心がなかったが、ある日何気ない会話で、お互い好きなおでんの具が昆布ということで仲良くなった。
成績も同じくらいで、模試のあとは必ず成績を見せ合う仲に。彼にバカにされないように、差が開かないように、勉強も頑張れた。
家ではお互い勉強できない派だったので毎日塾の自習室通い&閉館まで一緒に勉強した。閉館のときは、自習室が真っ暗になるので2人で肝試し?をしたり。青春をした。
しかし受験が近づくにつれ、個別授業などが増え、会う機会が減っていった。
センター後、私大入試直前、久しぶりに彼と会った。すると彼は、次はいつ会えるかわからないから、、と、学ランのボタンを私にくれた(鼻血)。私はそのボタンを筆箱の中に入れ受験に挑んだ。強くなれた気がした...
回答者は結果合格。彼は国立志望だったのでまだ受験が残っていたが、お祝いしてくれた。初めて彼の自転車で2人乗りして町を回ったりした。だいぶうかれていた。
でも実は彼はセンターがあまりうまくいっていなかったようで。第一志望ではなく、地方の国立へ行くことが決まった。
回答者も進学の準備やら進学してからもドタバタ忙しく、彼に会えたのは結局それが最後であった、、、、、
彼とは結局友達以上恋人未満だったけれど、彼と頑張れたから合格できたのかも知れない。。なんて思っている。。。涙


、、、、何が言いたかったのか忘れたけれどとりあえず
・まだ付き合うな
・付き合う前の良好な関係が良好なモチベーションとなる

いかがでしょう。
1d:Tff9,楽しそう〜〜笑
でも、その子のことを今までは知らなかったということは、告白されたことが嬉しいだけで、その子のことは別に好きじゃないんじゃないかなと思ったのだけど。どうなんだろう？？

私も似たようなポリシーを高3のときもっていて笑、結論から言うと付き合わなかったよ。

周りの人を見ても、あまりおすすめはしないかな。。なんでかというと、片思いの恋愛と両思いの恋愛って違うのはなんとなくわかるよね👀片思いのうちは何でも楽しいし嬉しいんだけど、両思いになると楽しい嬉しいが前提となってしまって一瞬でも楽しくなければ、不安になってしまうものなのよ、、とくに思春期は、、！！
加えて、受験という重圧のなかで成績が伸び悩んだりしてそのやりきれない思いを恋人にぶつけちゃったりして関係がこじれたり、あとは2人の世界に没頭して受験戦争上消息不明になり気付いたら浪人になったりしている人を何組か見た、、🤫

高校生活で楽しい恋愛は不可欠なのはそうだと思う。。けど、受験競争激しいこの国に生まれてしまって大学受験を志す以上、高校生活を楽しむべきだという主張はナンセンスなのかもしれないね。大学にいくには(内部進学や指定校推薦?を除き)絶対に受験を経なければならないし、高校時代は勉強に最も時間を割かないといけないからはっきり言って恋愛は負担が増えるだけと考えてもらったほうが現実的かなと...。あ、でも今高2なのか。高2のときは私も彼氏いたわ笑笑。高2はギリギリかなー。高3では本格的に受験勉強に染まらないといけないかな。

なので一個人のアドバイスとしては、今は受験勉強に専念したい+○○ちゃんが良ければ受験が終わってから付き合わない？みたいなことを言えばよろしい。



おまけなんだけど笑、
「吊り橋効果」ってなんとなく聞いたことあるんじゃないかなと思う🌉
グラグラ揺れるもろい話の上に男女を置き、揺れたときお互い怖いという感情とともに心臓がバクバクするけど、その心臓バクバクが相手のことが好きでバクバクしている？！と脳が間違えることで起こる効果のことね。
質問者さんの文章読んだとき、これかなーと思った笑。告白されると誰でも嬉しいし興奮するじゃん。相手のことが好きで興奮したんじゃなくて、告白されたこと自体が嬉しくて興奮したのに、脳が相手のことが好きで興奮したのだなと間違えて、いつの間にか相手のことが気になってついに好きになるという感じね。
そういうきっかけは恋愛にはよくあることだし全然間違いではないけどね。
しかし受験生で必ずしも恋愛しなくていい時期に、そういう形で恋愛を始めて万が一受験に失敗した場合、、、なんてこった！て感じはあるよね笑。
更にどうでもいいことを並べると、大学生になって、サークルに入ると、夏にみんなでどこか田舎へ合宿へ行くということがよくある。で、だいたい男女ペアで肝試しをするんだけど、肝試しの後から2人の様子がおかしくなって気づくとなんか付き合ってるじゃんーー！ていうことが、よくある。まさに吊り橋効果だね笑。ちなみに私も昔それに引っかかった1人笑。なんてこっただわ。

何が言いたいかわからなくなってしまったけれど、とりあえず
・今は恋愛いらない(まあ高2ならギリokな気もするけど高3では本当におすすめしない)
・大学生になっても恋愛はできる！

以上でした🐣1e:T17a7,はじめまして！

理系チックな返答をします笑。初めに言っておきますが、かなり無機質です。感情論的なアドバイスはお互いをよく知る友人等に貰って貰って、私からはあえて客観的で徹底した合理主義的なアドバイスをさせていただきます。色々な角度からのアドバイスを踏まえて判断してもらえればと思います。それらを理解した上で以下読んでいただければ幸いです。

まずもえさん側は現状の関係性で十分満足していて、それが今崩れようとしている。お相手はさらなる関係性を望み、もえさんも満更ではなさそう(文面から判断しました)。
結論から言うと、崩れた結果もえさん側に利があるなら恋愛に発展させればいいと思います。具体的にはもえさんのモチベが上がるみたいなメリットがある、あるいはもえさん自体に特にデメリットはないがお相手にメリットがあるなどありましたら。一方もえさん側にメリットがないどころかむしろデメリットがあるなら今は受験に専念した方がいいですね。例えば息抜きと称してめちゃくちゃデート誘われるとか今は勉強の話をしている時間にめちゃくちゃ惚気だすとか、お相手がもえさんが今求めていること以上のことを求めてくる時ですね。受験というのは今後の人生を変えます。そんな重要な時期に、本人が望まないのに相手に合わして自分の勉強ができないのは勿体なさすぎます。

これは同性として勝手に妄想する事なのですが、現状それなりに近しい関係性でいるのにも関わらずさらに欲するとなれば、あまりもえさんに都合のいい展開には転がらない気がします。もえさんが求めるような関係性ならば恋愛に発展させる必要はないですからね。
ただ精神的な安定が欲しいだけという可能性もありますが、お相手のことが分からないので判断しきれないところですが。。。

少し話が逸れましたが、肝心の恋愛と勉強が両立できるかですが、結局受験というのは必要な知識を入れ必要な技術を身につける必要があります。そのために必要な時間を確保できるかどうかが合否を分けます。自分の持つ時間からその時間を引いて残った時間に収まる恋愛ができるかが返答になります。要するに人によります。
厄介なのが、恋愛というのは相手がいます。相手の恋愛観が自分の(主に時間的な)枠に収まるか、それだけでも大変なのにさらに自分の恋愛観が相手の恋愛観の枠に収まるか。これらを同時に満たす必要があります。恋愛がとる比重が大きいともちろん枠には収まりませんし、小さいからと言ってあまりにも小さいとじゃあ恋愛に発展させなくて良くない？となります(つまりあんまり現実的では無い)。
もえさんに限った話をすると、お相手と恋愛するにあたって今もえさんが得ている刺激だったりモチベを得続けられるかつ今の勉強の比重と競合しないかがまず問題です。それが満たされた上で、じゃあ次はお相手がそれで満足するかですね。こればっかりはもえさんにも我々部外者にも分からないので本人に聞くしかないです。
1つ提案としては、そこら辺を伝えた上で本人に決めさせればいいと思います。「私はこれは譲れないしこういうことは今したくない」というのを伝えてそれで納得できるならば恋愛に発展させれば良い。まあ正直恋愛の駆け引きは度外視しているので、そんなことするぐらいなら恋愛なんかしない！と思われても当然です笑。

ただこれまで話したのは、私の価値観や経験に基づく一つの考えなので、必ずしも合っているとは限らないし、何よりもえさんは従う必要も無いです。恋愛とか受験とかはあくまでもえさんの人生なので、最終自分の望むままにすればいいと思います。理屈ではこうなんだけど、本能的には真逆！みたいなことも当然あります。どちらを採るかは我々他人には決めれません。そしてそうした結果の責任も我々他人には負うことは出来ません。それさえ分かった上で判断すれば良いと思います。
そして何より、自分が後悔しないこと！ いくら受験の結果が悪くても自分が納得できていればそれでいいと思います。極論受験はいつでもできますが、その時出会った人との恋愛はその時限りです。他人と生まれるものである以上自分自身の都合だけではどうにもならないので。受験も恋愛も自分一人ではなんとも出来ない領域がある以上、結果自分が納得できるかが重要だと思っています。片方をとってもう片方に後悔が残るなら少し決断が早かったことになります。逆に何をしてと後悔するとなると逆に後悔はしないと思います(あの時はそうせざるを得なかったから仕方がないと割りきれるはず)。

以上、超理系的な返答でした笑。
感情論は極力排除しているので、もしかすると「何言ってんだこいつ」「何も分かってない」となるかもしれません。そういう時は全然無視してください。
もし万が一にももっと聞きたいことがあるという奇跡があるならばコメントください。できる範囲内で助力したいと思います。
再三言いますが、後悔だけはしない選択を！2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=0E3Xr3cBTqPwDZPuxael","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"恋愛と受験勉強"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",2,") コメント(",1,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"2/17 20:54"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark 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mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"それほど慎重になれてる時点で、付き合うことが受験に悪影響を及ぼす可能性は低いのではないかと思います。むしろお互いの存在を勉強の励み、モチベーションに繋げることができれば、受験も成功するのではないのでしょうか！受験も恋愛も後悔しない選択が一番です。もし仮に100%受験を優先して、付き合わない選択をすることに後悔が残らないと思うのならばそうすればいいと思います。付き合うべきかどうかはもちろん他人には決められません。もし付き合わない選択をして後悔しそうと感じるのであれば、一度受験と切り離して考えてみるべきです！\n自分が受験生だった頃にも周りにカップルは多くいましたが、受験に成功するか失敗してしまうかは結局は本人達しだい。でも一つ言えるのは、仮に失敗したとしてもそこには恋愛以外のたくさんの原因があるものです。失敗した人の中で、「これは付き合っていたからだ」などと全部恋愛のせいにする人はいないはずです。なので受験の失敗を恐れて恋愛感情を押し付けるのは、僕はおすすめしません。むしろ付き合ったことが受験の失敗の原因にならないように努力しようという気持ちに切り替えてみればいかがでしょうか。\nもし周りに応援してくれるような友人などいればその人たちの意見なども聞いてみてもいいかもしれませんね。是非参考にしてみてください！"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"adviserImageUrl":null,"adviserName":"にーまるにーまる","adviserDepartment":"東京大学理科一類","adviceId":"0E3Xr3cBTqPwDZPuxael","numberOfFan":1,"clipsAvg":3,"adviceRateAvg":3.8,"profile":""}]}],["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink 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19:59"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs whitespace-pre-wrap","children":"ご回答ありがとうございます！\nしっかりと2人で受験勉強に支障が出ないようにルールを決め、付き合うことにしました。"}]]}]]}]]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":"よく一緒に読まれている人気の回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"/advice/1ddxJWcBTqPwDZPu4EGO","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"恋愛と勉強の両立"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"青春を謳歌している、素敵なご相談ですね。\n好きなんだけれど相手の邪魔はしたくない、でも想いを伝えたい、そんな葛藤が伝わってきます。\n\nさて、回答に移りますが\n私個人としては、告白はしてもいいのではないかと思います。理由は三点あります。\n\n第一に、すでにあなたは我慢が辛くなっているからです。受験を理由に恋愛を断つのであれば、次年度のあなたの受験期にも同じことを行うのが自然な理屈です。しかし今でさえ苦しいのに、もし恋人になれたとして、次年度のあなたの受験期に会うのを我慢し続けられるのでしょうか？おそらく無理でしょう。来年の自分が、会いたいのを我慢して、無理な精神状態で勉強を続けてもうまくいくと思わないのなら、告白するべきだと思います。\n\n第ニに、受験は本人の問題だからです。確かにあなたが告白をして、それが相手の心になんらかの影響を与えるかもしれません。しかし、それが理由で受験に落ちた、というのは言い訳に過ぎないのです。\n少し難しい話ですが、受験は試験の結果如何で合否が決まる、ただそれだけであり、その間の個人の状況は考慮されません。言い換えると、恋愛しようと事故に遭おうと当日朝に滑って骨を折ろうと、それは対等の条件なのです。あなたが告白をするのも、受験の上では対等な条件でしかないのですから、告白はしていいと思います。相手の迷惑を考えるのは、恋人になって受験の如何が自分事になってからでいいんです。\n\n第三に、恋愛が不利にはたらくわけではないからです。よく恋愛は受験における足枷という文言を耳にしますが、それは当人の制御が下手でうつつを抜かし、勉強をしなかったせいです。うまく使えば恋愛はすごい武器になると思います。\nわたし個人としては、会いたい気持ちを昇華させて勉強したり、受かって2人で喜ぶために勉強をしたりする方が、長く冗長な受験勉強にメリハリができ、モチベーションが上がるように思えます。週1のデートをモチベーションに勉強するとか、とてもいいですよね。\nもし付き合えた暁には、相手を律するのもパートナーの務めです。恋人関係になったからこそ、相手の結果が自分にとっても大事になりますから。そのために頻繁すぎる連絡は控えるとか、できることはありますよね。\n\n素敵なお悩みだと思います。\nどちらの選択をなさっても、人生における貴重な経験になるかと思います。\nぜひ後悔のない選択ができるようお祈りしています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"受験生は恋愛など捨てるべきなのか"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"✅私の個人的な意見\n\n→私は恋愛は受験にはいらない派でした。受験は自分との戦いと言われていますが前提として周りの条件が支障にない程というものだと思います。恋愛＝支障と決めつけるのは良くないことだと思います。実際恋人がいながら受験に受かっている友人を私は何人も知っていますし全然ありだと思います。しかし私は恋人がいない状態ならわざわざ受験期に作る必要がないと思いますし、なにかと恋人の存在を支障と感じるタイミングがあるなら距離をとって付き合うというのでもいいと思います。\n\nあくまでゴールは受験合格です。\n\nそのために最も最適なルートを選ぶべきなのかなって思います。恋人の存在が最適かどうかに関しては人それぞれです、ほんとに。自分の性格との照らし合わせですかね。少なくともわたしは必要ない派でした笑"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 6-2m0-12C9.79 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"恋愛との両立"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"慶應の経済学部の者です。\n僕も高2の1月に同じ高校の彼女ができて、一緒に受験を乗り越えたので、男の立場から回答させていただきます。\n\n受験期って割と勉強勉強勉強という感じで単調だから、恋煩いとか勉強以外の悩み事が増えてしまいますよね。でもそれとうまく付き合わないと失敗してしまうので、はやく対処法を見つけましょう。\n\n僕たちがどう受験を乗り越えたのか説明します。\n\n❶朝一緒に自習室や図書館に通う。\n朝は割と時間を無駄にしている受験生が多いので彼氏と一緒に有効活用するといいと思います！彼氏にとっても勉強時間が増えるし、あなたも集中できると思うのでいいと思います。\n\n❷勉強の息抜きに一緒に散歩しに行ったり、学食でおやつを食べたりする。\n\n勉強の休憩にスマホをいじる受験生が多い昨今ですが、あれはあまり休憩にはなっていません。人と話したりなどするといいリフレッシュになって本当の休憩になります！\nあまり頻繁に休憩をとったり、長時間の休憩は避けるべきですけどね😅\n\n❸夜寝る前に電話する\n\n一日の勉強の進捗を話したり、明日の意気込みなどを話すといいですよ。次の日の勉強のやる気につながります！\n\n彼氏、彼女は受験の時にうまく付き合えば最強のパートナーになります。だから上手に付き合って、2人共々是非第1志望に合格してください！\n応援してます！^_^"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"集中できない、、"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。\nいかにも青春といった感じでうらやましいです。\n\n受験期の恋愛には障壁が多いですが、人を好きになる気持ちを止めることはできませんよね😰この状態で好きな気持ちを抑えて勉強なんて絶対できませんよね。悶々としたまま本番に入ってしまうのは避けたいですよね。\n\n思い切って気持ちを伝えてしまうのがいいと思いますよ。\nただ、その際あなたが挙げられていた不安も伝えてあげてください。恋愛のせいで自分と相手の受験に悪い影響が出てしまうのではないか不安だと。相手があなたの想いに応えてくれるなら、きっと一緒に真剣に考えてくれます。\n彼が受験を理由に告白を断ることは明確、と言われていましたが、そうとも限らんと僕は思いますよ。僕は男ですが、受験勉強は基本的に独学だったので心細い時もありました…やはり1人で勉強だけするのはしんどい。そんな時に自分をいつも支えて、そして一緒に頑張ってくれる人がいてくれたらそれはもう嬉しいものです。しかもそれが恋する人だといったら、なんと素敵なことでしょうか。というわけで、もし自分がお相手なら快諾します。（もちろんデート等はできるだけ我慢してくださいね。まあ予備校デートとか模試デートとか素敵そうですけど）あとはあなたの想いにお相手がどれだけ応えてくれるかの問題です。気持ちを伝えるのはあなたの仕事、選ぶのは相手の仕事、振られてしまったら、潔く諦めて勉学に集中しましょう。\n案外立ち直れるものです。（しばらくは落ち込みますが）\n\n最後に…苦しくて泣きそうなほど人を好きになれるということは本当に素敵で、羨ましいと思います。そんな想いを受験のせいで相手に届けることができない…なんて悲しいというか、なんだか虚しすぎるとは思いませんか？僕個人の意見として、受験とか関係なくその想いは絶対に相手に伝えるべきだと思いますよ。これから1年間悩みは多いと思いますが、あなたに恋愛と受験、2つの春が訪れることを願っています。\n\n人の恋愛事情もよくわからない、いち大学生の身分で失礼しました。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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