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19:Tcf9,はじめまして。
｢私だったらこう思ってこうする｣という内容を書いておきます。

少しでも時間が惜しいかつその友人との関係性を捨てることを厭わないなら、｢あいつらしょうもないな｣と見限るという方法もあります。倫理的にどうかは置いておいて、選択肢のひとつです。まぁおすすめはしませんが。
その友人たちとの関係性を今後も保っていきたいなら腹を割って話し合うべきです。自分の内面でどう折り合いをつけてもその関係性は改善することはあまりないです(時間が解決することもありますが待ってるのも結構辛い)。というかそれがなかなか出来ないから質問したんだと思います。なので一旦腹を割って話し合うべきです。｢自分はこのギスギスした関係嫌だから解消したい｣と伝えましょう。なぜこんなことになってしまったのか、どこがまずかったのか、どうすればこうならなかったのか、それが客観的に正しいかどうかは別として、当事者間で納得ができるとギスギス感は無くなります。以前と同じように話せるようになると思います(そうすればストレスもなくなるはず)。

ただ気をつけなければいけないのが、お互いに自分の都合を押し付けないことです。｢自分がこうだからこうしろ｣とは言わないこと。逆に相手の｢自分こうだからこうしろ｣という主張(というより態度)もちゃんと批判しましょう。どちらかの立場が優勢な関係ではなくフラットな関係でいられるように努めることが、良い関係を作るコツだと私は思います。そしてお互いが満足出来るラインを見つけましょう。｢自分はこうだからこうしたかった｣｢相手はこうだったからこうしたかった｣を擦り合わせて｢じゃあどうすれば2人or3人が満足・納得できるか｣を話せばいいと思います。
そもそも前提として相手が話し合いに応じてくれていますが、正直｢お前とは話したくない｣と言われたらもうどうしようもない気がします。｢対話の終わりは戦の始まり｣という言葉がありますが、私の場合だったらそいつとの関係性を切ります。それぐらい話し合い・対話は大切だと思っているからです。

仲違いしている人に話しかけるのはかなり負担になると思いますが、それで悩んで負う負担と比べてみてください。話しかけてみれば一瞬で終わります。


長々と小難しい話をしましたが、プロフィールにもあるように私は学生寮に住んでいます。四六時中他者がいる環境で過ごしているので、やはり何かしら問題は起こります。その時に大切になってくるのが当事者間の話し合いです。これは全寮が共通して持っている見解(というより入寮する時に説明される原則)です。結構それで上手く回っていると思います。参考までに自分の中で検討してみてください。2:["$","main",null,{"className":"px-4 pt-4 pb-4","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"max-w-3xl mx-auto w-full","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://unilink-app.onelink.me/isbO/h6xeh63x?advice=-fK63WgBTqPwDZPufH5l","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/web_to_app_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink WebToAppバナー画像","className":"mb-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"なにもかもうまくいかない"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between mb-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"text-left text-xs text-caption","children":["クリップ(",4,") コメント(",0,")"]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-right text-xs text-caption","children":"2/12 3:03"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"UniLink利用者の80%以上は、難関大学を志望する受験生です。これまでのデータから、偏差値の高いユーザーほど毎日UniLinkアプリを起動することが分かっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L13",null,{"clientImageUrl":null,"clientUserName":"りさ","infoString":"高2 静岡県 名古屋大学志望","adviceId":"-fK63WgBTqPwDZPufH5l"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap","children":[["$","div","consultation-part-0",{"children":[null,"親友と３日前に喧嘩して以来、勉強も部活もなにもかもが手につきません。\n彼女は一度喧嘩すると二度と話さないような気性の激しい子で、今までもそれで友達を何人か絶交してきました。\n\n私たちが仲良くなったのはほんの半年前くらいです。\n喧嘩の内容は、彼女が私の携帯の内容を勝手に見たのでそれをマナー違反でしょと怒ったことから、私がだんだんヒートアップして、そんなことするなんて私のこと見下してるんでしょとキレたんです。\n言い方が激しかったことを私は謝ったけど、\n彼女は翌日から私のことを避けてきます。\nこんな喧嘩ごときで疎遠になるなんて思わなくて、すごくショックでした。\n\n彼女は人を本当に嫌いになると、相手にやられたことや相手の嫌なところなどを言いふらすんです。私は、まだそこまではされてないです。\nでも彼女の私に対する態度が完全に縁を切りたいときのそれのように思えて、避けられるたびに辛いんです（気まずいだけであってほしいです）。\n\n喧嘩するまでは、毎日勉強も部活も一生懸命やっていたし、そうやって頑張れている自分が好きで誇らしかったですし、毎日目標を立ててすごく充実していました。\nそれが喧嘩してから、目標もなにも、なにに対してもやる気が起きず、教室に親友がいて、３日前まではわたしがいたはずの彼女の隣に違う子が笑っているのを見るたびに辛いんです。何にも手につきません。\n今まで立てた計画をこなそうとしてみても上の空で、全然頭に入ってきません。\n\nでも、悪いことをしたのに謝ってこない親友の方が悪いんだから、親友がいないと何もできないような状態になってる自分が嫌です。\n親友なしでも自分で目標を立てて頑張っていた頃の、充実していた自分に戻りたいです。\nどうすればいいのかわかりません。どんどん自分がダメ人間になっていくみたい。\n助けてください。嫌なことで頭がいっぱいのときって、どうしたら勉強に集中できますか？"]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L14",null,{}]}],null]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold mb-2","children":"回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-4","children":["$","$L15",null,{"adviserImageUrl":"https://firebasestorage.googleapis.com/v0/b/unilink-48e75.appspot.com/o/images%2Fs_589BDA9176134CA4B0D9064837A3DE84.jpg?alt=media&token=2d402055-d96a-465f-ac24-66c20c2646bf","adviserName":"N.T.","adviserDepartment":"早稲田大学法学部","adviceId":"-fK63WgBTqPwDZPufH5l"}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"coach-mark mb-4","children":"すべての回答者は、学生証などを使用してUniLinkによって審査された東大・京大・慶應・早稲田・一橋・東工大・旧帝大のいずれかに所属する現役難関大生です。加えて、実際の回答をUniLinkが確認して一定の水準をクリアした合格者だけが登録できる仕組みとなっています。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"leading-loose whitespace-pre-wrap mb-4","children":[["$","div","advice-part-0",{"children":[null,"いっぱい勉強して見返しましょう！\n自分に魅力がつき、明るく振舞っていれば、そんな非常識な友達の一挙手一投足に左右されなくても、ステキな友達がついきます。\n\n明るければ人は寄ってきます。\n虫さえも光るものに来ます笑\n\n他人のことを気にする人生は疲れますよって有名な哲学者アドラー心理学にも書いてありました。"]}]]}],null,["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"https://ck.jp.ap.valuecommerce.com/servlet/referral?sid=3364577&pid=884970531&vc_url=http%3A%2F%2Fshingakunet.com%2F%3Fvos%3Dnrmnvccp0000100","rel":"nofollow","target":"_blank","children":["$","$L8",null,{"src":"/images/document_request_banner.jpg","width":3660,"height":1500,"sizes":"100vw","style":{"width":"100%","height":"auto"},"alt":"UniLink パンフレットバナー画像","className":"mt-4 rounded"}]}]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"pt-4","children":["$","$L16",null,{"id":"adsbygoogle-init-under-advice"}]}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex justify-between","children":[["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":["コメント(",0,")"]}],["$","$L17",null,{"adviceId":"-fK63WgBTqPwDZPufH5l"}]]}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs p-4","children":"コメントで回答者に感謝を伝えましょう！相談者以外も投稿できます。"}]}],["$","h1",null,{"className":"text-xl font-semibold","children":"よく一緒に読まれている人気の回答"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-8","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"divide-y","children":[["$","div",null,{"children":["$","$L7",null,{"href":"/advice/lfC_smgBTqPwDZPuxRLu","children":["$","div",null,{"className":"flex items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"すっきりとした気持ちで勉強に励めない"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"人間関係は難しいですよね。\n特に入試の時はみんながピリピリしてたりして、\nみんな余裕がないですから余計に難しくなりますよね。\n\nうまくいかないことがあり、\nスッキリしない気持ちになってしまうのは\nしょうがないです。\n\nでも、残念ながらそれを解決する方法は\n『切り替えること』『考えないこと』くらいしかないです。\n\nそれが難しくできないから\n困っているのはわかりますが、\n残念ながら、これらを実践するしかないです。\n\n厳しい言い方かもしれませんが\n切り替えて勉強に集中しないと後悔するのは自分であることを再認識しましょう！\n\nインフルになっても、\n利き腕を骨折しても、\n待ってくれないのが入試です。\n\n今までの努力をたった1日や2日で判断されるのが入試です。\n\n今まで頑張ってきた努力を実らせるためにも\n切り替えて！勉強しましょう！\nファイト！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 6-2m0-12C9.79 4 8 5.79 8 8s1.79 4 4 4 4-1.79 4-4-1.79-4-4-4zm0 10c-2.67 0-8 1.34-8 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"友人関係"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"✅友人は大事。\n\n→受験は個人戦か、団体戦か。よく言われていることですよね。私は学校では受験は団体戦と教えられました。塾では個人戦だよねと教えられました。結局どっちなん、、、。\n一年受験勉強を通してわかったこと。それは受験は団体戦でもあり個人戦でもあるということ。受験は1人では絶対にできません。家族の支えや友人の支え、先生の支えがあってこその受験です。それを個人戦と見切って一匹オオカミのごとく周りをはけていく。それは違うのかなって一年通して思いました。特に私は友人の存在に助けられました。\n\n\n私には中学、高校、大学と同じの友人が1人います。今でもとても仲良くしています。私が早稲田に行けたのは彼のおかげかもしれない。度々そう思っています。本当に感謝しています。具体的に何をしてもらったのかというと……\n何もしてもらってません笑笑 ただいつも一緒にいてくれました。一緒に勉強をしていった仲間は彼だけではありませんでしたが彼が最も存在が大きかったです。\n一緒に切磋琢磨して言える仲間の存在は本当に大事です。成績という数字だけではなくメンタル面で一緒に頑張っていける友人は本当に大事だと思います。\n\n✅質問者さんの現状況に対して。\n\n→私からはどうした方がいいという具体的なアドバイスはできませんが、上記にもあげた通り友人の存在は本当に大きいです。友人は友人でも一緒に頑張っていける仲間。いて楽しい友人と一緒に頑張っていける友人は同じ場合もありますが別の場合もあります。切磋琢磨できる友人を大切に。これだけです\n"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"勉強に集中したいです。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"なんとなくわかる気がする。\nけどまー、いま好きな相手のこととか、友人関係のもつれは本当に一瞬だから。でも大学不合格は一生ものの問題。大学入ったら好きな相手も友達もどんどんできるので、とっとと忘れて勉強集中。そんなことで落ちたら恥ずかしいで。\n\nとは言いつつ、回答者も当時彼氏と別れたり、彼氏とは別の男(塾で1番イケメンの男がいてけっこう仲よかったと思ってたんだが)に花火誘われるかと思いきや誘われず。ガン萎えした記憶がある。けどそれでウダウダ言ってたのは1週間くらいだったかな。それ以上引きずると冷静に時間が勿体無い。さっきも言ったが、そんなことで落ちたら恥ずかしいという気持ちで乗り切った。頑張ろう。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 24","className":"text-subPrimary mr-1","children":["$undefined",[["$","path","0",{"fill":"none","d":"M0 0h24v24H0V0z","children":[]}],["$","path","1",{"d":"M12 6c1.1 0 2 .9 2 2s-.9 2-2 2-2-.9-2-2 .9-2 2-2m0 10c2.7 0 5.8 1.29 6 2H6c.23-.72 3.31-2 6-2m0-12C9.79 4 8 5.79 8 8s1.79 4 4 4 4-1.79 4-4-1.79-4-4-4zm0 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"モチベの低下"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"こんにちは！\n\nまずは自分がなんで今自分が勉強しているのかを考えてみてください。行きたい大学があるんですよね？そしてとにかく一日ずつ目標とやることをだいたいでいいから決めていくといいと思います。またあまり自分を追い詰めない方がいいと思います。さらに自分がポジティブな思考で進んでいくタイプなのかそれともネガティブな思考で進んでいくタイプなのかを考えたほうがいいとおもいます。\n\n①  ポジティブにキラキラした大学生活を描いて勉強するタイプ\n\n②  ネガティブな感情であいつを見返してるやるとかあの先生をギャフンと言われてやるというタイプ\n\n①はなんでもポジティブに考えたりとか大学生活に憧れている人はこのモチベーションで勉強していくといいと思います！例えば実際に大学に行ってみたりとかホームページとかを見たりして行きたい気持ちを高めるといいと思います。\n\n②は誰かを見返したいとかあいつに志望校をバカにされて許せないとかそういうモチベーションで勉強していくタイプです。結構こっちのタイプの人も多いと思います。そういう人はこの負の力を勉強をするプラスの力に変えていくことができればかなり大きなモチベーションになると思います。\n\n自分がどちらに当てはまるのかそしてなんでその大学に行きたいのか（例えばあの大学入れたらかっこいいなとかでもいいです。）をもう一回自分で考えてモチベーションを作っていくことが大切だと思います。頑張ってください！！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"何が何でも集中して勉強する方法"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"学校で何か友達と仲違いがあった、だとか、今日なんだが先生が厳しかった気がする、レベルの内容でウジウジしておりましたDattyがお答えさせていただきます。\n\nノートの一番後ろのページに悩みを書き連ねて見てください。原因や対策法などが考えつくならそれらも書いて、樹形図のように線で繋げてみてください。時間が解決するものなのか、自分からアタックして解決に向かわせねばならないものなのか、その場合何が必要か。スッキリさせると意外と次に進みます。\n・時間が解決してくれるやつだから、今できることは勉強しかない！\n・明日朝イチで学校に行って話してみる！だから、家にいる今できるのは勉強だけ！\n・LINE送った！あとは返事待つだけ！だから、今は勉強するのみ！\nと、今できることはなんなのか、という答えを出すことで勉強するしかないと納得できます。\nスッキリするのとは別です。そういう思考は、わかっていても出てきてしまうものですよね。\nだから、この自分の気持ち整理に使うのは、計算用ノートとかなんでもノートとか、よく使うノートがいいと思います。\n同じような思考に陥った時、そのページを開けば悩む時のウジウジ思考をなぞることができるからです。余計な思考が頭を侵食し始めた時にこのページを開けば、もうすでに自分が(数日か数時間か数分か)前にウジウジした時の思考があるので倍速でゴールまで辿り着けます。ページを開いて、\nはい、こう悩んで、こう考えて、これにつながって、はい、はい、はい。そうだね。だからこうなるよね。うん、勉強しかないわ。勉強しよ。とすんなり思えたらあなたの勝ちです。\n\nとにかく自分を客観的にみてあげることです。\n今日先生にこっぴどく叱られた。\nというこの一文、人によってはもう次の日学校に行きたくないくらいショックを受けますが、文章にして他人事として読んでみるとありふれた出来事すぎて何も心に響がないでしょ？\n10年後の今日、10年前に何で悩んでたかなんて思い出せないはずなので、前向いて、時に落ち着いて自分を分析して、勉強と付き合っていきましょう。\n頑張れ！受験生！"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex 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items-center py-4","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"flex-1","children":[["$","div",null,{"className":"mb-1","children":"余裕のなさで人にあたってしまう"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"text-xs text-caption line-clamp-2 mb-1","children":"はじめまして。私も同じような時期がありましたので、お気持ち分かります。\n\n私なりの考えですが、友人と話していて楽しいと思えないのであれば、無理に一緒に帰らなくても良いのではないでしょうか。イライラを隠すのもストレスでしょうし、隠しきれないのであれば関係が悪化する恐れもあります。理由はこのあと塾がある等、ご自身の状況に合わせて事実ではなくても伝えればいいと思います。\n\n孤立するのが怖いのであれば、学校での休み時間ぐらいは話してあげたらいいと思います。私の高校はいわゆる進学校でしたが、共テ直前でも休み時間は話している人が多かったです。もちろん隙間時間の活用は大事ですが、休み時間の10分程度たまに友人と話したところでそこまで変わらないと思います。ストレスを溜めすぎないためにもこれは必要だと思います。\n\nまた、私は隙間時間を有効活用しようとしすぎて信号待ちで参考書を読んでいた時期がありましたが、今思えば危険だしそんなことしても合否に影響しなかったなと思います。\n\nあと、ご飯を食べながら鉄壁をやっていたこともありました。まあ今振り返ると偉いんですが、なら早く食べ終えて集中して机に向かえばよかったなと思います。\n\n要は私の場合、こんな隙間時間でも勉強してるんだ、っていう自己満足だったのかなと思います。質問者さんの場合はそうではないかもしれませんが、いかなる時でも参考書を開こうという意識でいるより、普段の勉強での集中力を上げたほうが効率的だと感じます。\n\nそして、親の配慮が足りないなと思っても親には当たらないほうがいいです。私は共テ直前にメンタルが壊れかけましたが、母親が励ましてくれたおかげで乗り越えられました。親とは毎日顔を合わせるのですから、やはり友人とは関係が異なります。気に障ったとしても抑えましょう。\n\n私は最後まで実践できませんでしたが、少しは余裕を持つことも大切です。受験勉強頑張ってください。"}],["$","div",null,{"className":"flex mb-1","children":[["$","svg",null,{"stroke":"currentColor","fill":"currentColor","strokeWidth":"0","viewBox":"0 0 24 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